I was recently engaged and upon telling my future MIL, she let us know that she would be happy to pay for the rehearsal dinner. I assume when she offered this, she was expecting the rehearsal dinner to include the parents and the bridal party. My mother (who is paying for the majority of the wedding and reception) wants to have a casual catered event at her home directly after the wedding rehearsal. The reason for this is that almost all of my family members live out of state and will be arriving here the day before the wedding. Many are staying at my mothers and a neighbors home, and the rest at hotels near my mothers house. She wants to feed and enjoy the company of all of these out of town guests the night before the wedding. My fiance has some out of town family members that will also be invited to the dinner. My mother doesn't feel comfortable expecting my future MIL to pay for such a large rehearsal dinner for mostly my family, so she wanted me to ask the MIL if she would like to contribute in another way, such as pay for the photographer or something. Is this an appropriate question to even ask? If so, do you have any suggestions to how i should broach the topic without sounding inconsiderate of her offer?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 30, 2007, 10:25 AM)
This wouldn't be a rehearsal dinner, but more of a reception (she is inviting all of her family from out of town). A pre-wedding reception is not proper as it could appear to be a shower. A rehearsal dinner could involve out of town guests, but it is best when it only involves those in the bridal party. This is because we don't want this to appear to be a reception and we want this to reflect what it is--an event where you discuss the ceremony, tie up loose ends, and to honor your attendants. Of course, parents do toast their children (bride and groom) here as well.
This is not to say that your mother shouldn't have a nice dinner for her family that has traveled for your wedding. It is just better that this is separate from the rehearsal dinner and not ALL wedding guests are invited to this event.
It wouldn't be polite to ask your future mother in law to pay for anything other than what she offered to pay for.
Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette and Planning
