As the MOB, I know I’m not to be in charge of the rehearsal dinner. The groom’s parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner, but do not live in town and are not involved in the planning. They also are newly divorced and are not communicating with what needs to be done. I’m trying to “guide” my daughter on who is necessary to invite to the rehearsal dinner.
After adding the bridal party, the parents, spouses, significant others, our Pastor and his wife, we are already at approximately 30 people. A friend of ours will be playing the music for the ceremony and is offering his time and talent without charging us. We also have a friend that is acting as the “day of coordinator” at no cost, and she also asked another friend to assist her (who I never asked to help). Is it necessary to invite these additional people and their spouses? That would add 6 more people to the dinner. We would like to invite the grandparents of the bride over these additional people if possible.
We are trying to do what is right but at the same time, we are not sure what is proper with the extra people that most likely wouldn’t be invited if we were just hiring them. I’m not even sure that the groom’s parents can afford to pay for all of these people. Please offer advice on how to handle this. Thank you!
Traditionally, the groom's parents would be responsible for the rehearsal dinner. But, it is not the case today. None of the parents are financially responsible for any of the wedding costs anymore. If they wish to contribute, that is their choice. In fact, the rehearsal dinner is optional. The couple could pay for it if they wish to include it in their planning.
If the friends you mention are in the rehearsal, they need to be invited to the dinner.
Thank you for your help. I felt that they should be invited, but wasn't sure. The groom's parents are only contributing the money for the rehearsal dinner, but my daughter and her fiance are planning it even though they don't know how much money they will have to work with. My daughter and her fiance did not want to invite our friends that are the musician and coordinator and do not feel it's necessary. They feel it would add too many people to the list. I obviously can't "make them" invite them since I'm not planning the dinner, but they don't seem to understand. I don't know what else I could do to help them understand?
I suppose you could just direct them here or to any etiquette book. We all say that those who are involved in the rehearsal need to be invited to the dinner if there is one.
The dinner doesn't need to be extravagant or held at a restaurant. It could be held at a home. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Rehearsal Dinner Invites
