First off, the grooms parents at first said that we had to figure out ourselves what to do for the rehearsal because they weren't going to pay for it. Then when we started planning it our way and they got upset and decided they did want to plan it after all. Well they feel it should be done their way and no kids should be allow to attend. I have several nieces and nephews and I love them so much that I found a place for all of them. They mean the world to me and I really want them there. Not to mention that most of them are from out of town so my siblings wouldn't have anyone to watch them therefore making it impossible for them to attend. I have expressed to them my concern but they are not a very tight knit family and don't seem to care how upset it makes me that they are doing this. My fiance is in school full time and they are fitting the bills and he is scared to talk to them in fear of being cut off completely. What do I do. I am extremely hurt by this and this is supposed to be about us and what we want but they don't seem to get it. I am at a complete lose on this issue. Please help me.
My answer would be different if they hadn't first dropped the ball into your lap on purpose. But their "change of heart" aside, you planned based on paying for the rehearsal dinner yourselves, and in my opinion, they revoked their right to demand anything when they abjectly refused to play their traditional role.
If you're still willing to pay, I think you should do whatever makes you most comfortable and diplomatically tell them that while you are grateful that they've changed their minds, you cannot "uninvite" guests who already expect to be there, and as such, you're going to go ahead and stick with your plan.
The host decides who attends. But, all of those who attend the rehearsal and should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. However, this is an optional event. So, perhaps you could skip it so no one is excluded. You could just spend time with them.
Rehersal Question
