I have searched high and low for this one ... I cannot be the first to encounter this situation.
My future daughter-in-law lives approximately seven hours away. The wedding is being held in her home town. The groom is currently deployed so of no help with the final wedding events. As mother of groom - no daughters, all soldier boys in my house - I am excited and anxious to plan the rehearsal dinner. I have shared my emotions many times with both bride and bride's mother. Unfortunately I seem to have been ignored. Most recently I received an email stating the planned location of rehearsal dinner, number attending, and cost per head. What am I to do with this?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Mar 9, 2008, 7:50 PM)
Weddings by Shayna
WEDDING CONSULTANT
Mar 10, 2008, 6:45 AM
Post #2 of 3
(1060 views)
Re: [Soldier Mom] Who plans rehearsal dinner?
[In reply to]
If they sent you those details expecting that you will pay for it as they've planned (without consulting you) I'd thank them for their "recommendations" but let them know that as you previously notified them, you are enthusiastic about putting together your own plans and will give them that information as soon as possible.
If they are saying that they will be paying for it, you have a slightly more difficult predicament. It is still traditionally your role, but they may actually feel they are doing you a favor. The best thing you can do is to gently, but firmly be honest with them that this is something you want to do, and while you will be glad to consult with them to make sure the dinner is appropriate to their overall wedding, you would prefer that they not make the arrangements for you.
Sometimes what looks like a huge slight is actually a huge miscommunication. Go to the source and try and solve it like a family issue. Hopefully you'll be laying the groundwork for great communication in the future. Good luck. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Mar 10, 2008, 2:26 PM
Post #3 of 3
(1046 views)
Re: [Soldier Mom] Who plans rehearsal dinner?
[In reply to]
Great advice. Although this is traditionally your task, all wedding planning is the couple's responsibility today. So, if the bride wants to plan it, fine. But, as hosts, she and your son pay. If you are the host, you would have all planning rights. And, if you host, you are only obligated (and this is best) to invite those who are actually in the wedding--those who rehearse.
This is an optional party. So, please do not feel as if it is a must. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Who plans rehearsal dinner?
