Groom's Mother Insists on Hosting Rehearsal Dinner
My fiance and I have recently started to plan our wedding and everything involved with it. It isn't for another 6 months, and no major decisions have been made, and I'm already fed up. His mother plainly stated, "The wedding is yours, but the Rehearsal Dinner is mine," with a stern look. I've tried research and came up with the fact that this whole "Groom's Family" pays for the Rehearsal Dinner only came up within the past decade. With that being said, the "Groom's Family" would included the groom, and not just her, correct? His mother and I have never really been on the whole friendly kick since she discovered that one day, I would be leaving with her son. I want us to get along, but with everything from the past and with her plainly stating this, it was like a slap in the face...as though my fiance and I can't have our Rehearsal Dinner how we wanted. She doesn't have a lot of money, in fact, my fiance and I have accommodated her for some of her expenses. When discussing this, I made mention that if money was tight, my family would be able to help, and that is when she said this. I guess my questions is, is she allowed to do this? We've talked about a lovely local restaurant where the owner is a close friend of the family and they have already expressed great anticipation in being able to host it. Do we just bend over and let her keep on her tyrant track, believe me, you haven't heard the half of our problems, or does my fiance need to sit down with her alone and express to her how we feel and what our wishes are?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Mar 4, 2009, 8:12 AM)
I don't know what references you have used, but it has been traditional for the groom's "parents" to host the rehearsal dinner for many decades. It has just been in the last decade, or so, that the couple has been viewed as financially responsible for all of their wedding costs. So, your future mother in law was being generous by offering to host your rehearsal dinner. Her offer is a gift and should have been received as such.
Having said that, you two may turn the gift down--politely. If you two want to host your own (optional) rehearsal party, you may. There is no "rule" against it. But, please host it well, observing what is considered proper--you pay all costs and the party does not mirror a reception.
Groom's Mother Insists on Hosting Rehearsal Dinner
