I am having a destination wedding in 3 months and having a reception in my hometown for everyone that is not attending the wedding. My fiance made it clear that he did not want a reception here and I came to terms with it eventually. Then one day he decided that he did want a reception, which was great. So I started planning it, and of course nothing went smoothly with anyone, especially my mother (we argued about everything). Last night, my fiance said he didn't want the reception anymore and I found out it was my mom who talked him into wanting to have one in the first place (she wouldn't take no for an answer). I don't know what to do anymore. I am so frustrated, tired and broken-hearted. I don't even want to try anymore and just want the day to come and go. I don't think it's right to force someone to do something they don't want to do, but at the same time my parents put all this money down already and I had all these really nice ideas for the reception. I am working two jobs right now to pay for some of it, so money is not an issue, he's just not the most social person and doesn't want to be in the spot light. Any ideas on what I should do, other than just run off and change my whole identity, because it's getting to that point.
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edited by TWQadmin on Oct 23, 2008, 8:41 AM)
This really isn't about your mother and what she wants. It really should never have been. It should have been more about you and your fiance. What do you two want?
The problem is that your fiance did say he wanted a reception and you acted on that. It really doesn't matter why he said it and it isn't fair to you for him to recant now, especially since you have done so much and your parents have contributed. But, it does come down to what you and he are comfortable with.
Even if your parents have contributed, it is still your wedding and reception and you two plan it. So, if your mother doesn't want to be a silent partner, it may be best to hand the money back. Your fiance can help repay the money if it can't be returned by the venue. You two should plan the reception you want. At this point, you have put a lot of work into it. Perhaps it could be a smaller, more intimate affair your fiance would feel more comfortable with.
This isn't to say that you two shouldn't be thankful for your parent's generous contributions. It just means that you don't have to accept if there are strings attached.
Fiance doesn't want reception anymore
It just means that you don't have to accept if there are strings attached. 
