Inviting guests to ceremony and not to reception dinner
I went to a wedding recently and after the ceremony they announced that the wedding party ONLY will be going for dinner and all the guests should go occupy themselves for a few hours until the reception (which included dancing, and some snacks). We all thought this was cheesy (although they were not literaly eating in front of us, they might as well have been to have announced everyone is excluded from the dinner and has to wait on them). The reception did include snacks (fruit, cheese, punch), but people who traveled huge distances and didnt know the area had nowhere to go during these few hours.
Now my friend, who is planning on a budget, wants to mimic the same idea. Is this a new trend? Is it acceptable? When I bring up the issue of guests being stranded from out of town she says she will try and introduce them to friends so they will be able to "tag along" with someone without being stranded. Aside from people being stranded, should they do something different from announcing they are going to eat without the guests? Maybe a more discreet explanation on how the next few hours are being filled before we all meet up again?
Hopefully, I can convice her against this idea as it did get a lot of critism. and the invitations left people with the impression they would be fed a meal, not a snack.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 29, 2008, 6:21 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 29, 2008, 10:27 AM
Post #2 of 3
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Re: [vixen] Inviting guests to ceremony and not to reception dinner
[In reply to]
Dear Vixen,
Who are these people?! You are correct that this is cheesy and worse. It is down right rude, and I don't use that word much.
Hopefully it isn't a new trend and it is definitely not a new etiquette rule. The rule is all wedding guests must be invited to the entire reception. The wedding is a gift giving event, while the reception is the party to celebrate the wedding and to thank the guests for attending. So, to only invite guests to the giving part of the event and then thank them with the least expensive part of the reception is crass and disrespectful.
I suppose you could inform your friend that this information is listed on every website that posts real etiquette and every etiquette book.
Re: [vixen] Inviting guests to ceremony and not to reception dinner
[In reply to]
WOW -
All I can say is, if it feels rude to you, it's rude! A good host always considers the feelings of his guests. This host seems to care about his pocketbook and not much else.
What a shame. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Inviting guests to ceremony and not to reception dinner
You are correct that this is cheesy and worse. It is down right rude, and I don't use that word much. 
