Here is the situation. My fiance is completely against the garter toss. He feels that it is disrespectful and degrading and the idea of the actual garter to him resembles something from a brothel (is that the right word). THerefore, I am not going to have a garter to toss. OUt of all the millions of decisions, I honestly could care a less about the actual garter. However, I am somewhat traditional, and would love to see the battle for the garter. I am going to have something for the children prior to the adult stuff as far as tossing stuff. I have altered the bouquet toss a bit to where people are not singled out, and everybody feels special, while keeping the tossing included. My issue is that I do not see myself getting all the men out there to catch flowers with the the girls. However I would like to toss something to keep things somewhat traditional with a new age twist. Basically, I need an alternative to tossing the garter for the men that would get them up there, jump around, act like men, and find it rewarding. OUr parents are divorced so giving garterish/bouquetish stuff to the couple married the longest will probalby not set well emotionally with many members of our family, so that is not an option. I want the toss and the battle, but I do not know what to toss. Can you help me?
Thank you so much and have a wonderful day Rebecca
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 10, 2007, 10:24 AM
Post #2 of 2
(615 views)
Re: [Dreamzlane] No Garter---Still want to toss something
[In reply to]
Dear Rebecca,
Nice name, by the way.
A little history may help with this decision. It was a superstition that to take something from the bride would be lucky for guests. So, guests would tear her clothes so they would have something of hers and the next year would be a lucky one.
Later in time came the throwing of the socks. The groomsmen would follow the poor couple to their bridal suite and throw their socks at them. The first to hit the groom would be the next to marry.
So, this is the history of the garter toss. I would probably choose tossing something of mine to keep guests from tearing my clothes and tossing their stinky socks at me.
Knowing the history makes it easy to see that we can skip this altogether. Many are. But, if you want to create your own tradition, let the games begin. You could choose to throw something that carries a meaning such as herbs, but they could be messy. Another idea is to use those eggs we see during Easter season. They open up to allow messages to be placed inside. You could toss a few out to the gathered few with messages such as: next to marry, will find a future date tonight, or just a chocolate kiss.
No Garter---Still want to toss something
