Selecting meals for wedding guests who haven't replied
Hello,
We are having a menu selection for our guests. We have 4 people who have not replied. I want to save a seat for them, but I do not know what they want to eat. I have exhuasted methods of contacting them to see if they are coming, and what they want to eat. My question is, do you think it would be OK for me to assign them a seat, but not a meal. I have been thinking about just choosing for them, but if they do not show up, I do not want to have to pay hundreds of dollars for these 4 meals. Our catering staff will prepare 3% over our final count anyway, so with 255 guests that have RSVP'd, that is 7 extra meals. Should I just let these extras cover my non-responsive guests? Maybe I am just being too nice, but I don't want them to show up and not have a seat. Thanks.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 10, 2008, 12:28 PM)
Nancy Tucker
PRESIDENT - WEDDINGS BEAUTIFUL
Sep 10, 2008, 7:46 PM
Post #2 of 7
(270 views)
Re: Selecting meals for wedding guests who haven't replied
[In reply to]
If they have not responded, you should not count them in your head count nor should you admit them. Either you get a yes or no from them and turn in the count accordingly. It is rude and unacceptable for guests to show up at a wedding without responding. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Sep 11, 2008, 9:16 AM
Post #3 of 7
(256 views)
Re: Selecting meals for wedding guests who haven't replied
[In reply to]
Nancy, I love you and think you are wedding planner extrodinaire, but this is one time I have to disagree. I understand that based on the "need to know" aspect that it may be impossible to know if there will be guests who show up without having responded. However, turning them away would be rude (just as rude as they were not to have responded). If some guests arrive and you weren't counting on them, have a table set up in this case and ask the banquet manager to attend to them. It will be pretty obvious to your guest that they were not expected and they will embarrass themselves so you wonlt have to do that.
Most caterers know this and prepare for extras but my guess is they will probably not attend. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 11, 2008, 10:52 AM
Post #4 of 7
(251 views)
Re: Selecting meals for wedding guests who haven't replied
[In reply to]
I couldn't have said it better. Since these guests were already invited, their meals really should be in the budget. That is not to say that I don't feel the same way as Nancy sometimes It really makes a person feel exasperated at times. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
caliann24
Sep 11, 2008, 12:08 PM
Post #5 of 7
(243 views)
Re: Selecting meals for wedding guests who haven't replied
[In reply to]
At this point, since it is only 4 people, I have decided to let the extras that the catering staff prepare to cover it and not denote a meal for them. It is just beyond me why someone cannot follow instructions. But they were invited for a reason, they are my friends. Thank you for your input.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Sep 11, 2008, 12:17 PM
Post #6 of 7
(240 views)
Re: Selecting meals for wedding guests who haven't replied
[In reply to]
It is a shame that our friends and family don't understand that "just one more person" can make a difference. That is why etiquette is in place and and why it is so important. Etiquette isn't just a stuffy set of rules for rich people.
I'm wondering how close these friends are if you do not speak to them and cannot contect them. You may want to examine this since they could feel they aren't close friends and don't understand why they have been invited. Now, I don't know any of you so, I'm just guessing.
Something to ponder. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
caliann24
Sep 11, 2008, 12:40 PM
Post #7 of 7
(237 views)
Re: Selecting meals for wedding guests who haven't replied
[In reply to]
Thanks TWQadmin,
I have been thinking the same thing, it is so strange that they just won't call/email/text? But for the time being, I am going to be the bigger person and plan accordingly.
Weddings really do bring out people's true character, and it is sad that it took something happy to realize something sad.
Thanks again.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 11, 2008, 12:47 PM)
Selecting meals for wedding guests who haven't replied
It really makes a person feel exasperated at times. 