can a claustrophobic bride have a later reception?
My fiancee is extremely claustrophobic, and ever since she was a child she's been terrified of large crowds (they finally stopped giving her birthday parties at ten when they kept having to drag her out of the bathroom crying). We were going to shoot for having just our parents at the wedding but she got upset because our siblings and her aunts did. They didn't say anything, but they did look... deflated, I guess. We have a large family and we want to have the ceremony AND reception at a friends beach house. It's roomy but when you cram 50+ people into a space, it gets cozy.
Is it ever alright to have a ceremony and then the reception the next day? We'd have to entirely rearrange the great room after the ceremony to accomodate a reception there, and there would be a ton of people milling around. She thinks to ask them to occupy themselves would "leave the family hanging". I suggested providing them with information about what's here to do and see, they've never been to where we live and there is a lot to do!
I just want my bride relaxed, at this point I don't care if the family is snuffed! But she does. So I do. I thought maybe we could serve some light snacks before the ceremony and then let them see the town and have a casual bbq style reception back at the beach home the next day, to help her stay calm. I thought perhaps we could schedule some photos after the wedding so that we wouldn't have to be rude by saying "okay, everybody out!"
Am I totally off the mark?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 7, 2007, 3:15 PM
Post #2 of 4
(557 views)
Re: [groomed] can a claustrophobic bride have a later reception?
[In reply to]
Dear Groomed,
It wouldn't be polite to host the wedding one day and then reception the next day if you were inviting a large crowd of people who had to schedule two days of lodging and all of the other travel related issues. But, if only a small group of family was to be invited, it should be fine, especially since they will know of your fiancee's problem. They would be able to decide for themselves if they wish to attend the wedding and not just the reception.
It would be nice to put something together for them, as you have suggested, to do directly after the wedding.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] can a claustrophobic bride have a later reception?
[In reply to]
Well, every guest would have to travel to get to the location. The closest any of the family is would be five hours travel, one way. We were considering having the ceremony in the evening so it would be logical they would stay at least onenight, or so I was thinking. If the reception were at an early lunch the next day -- say 11 -- would that still be inappropriate?
I understand about the immediate family vs extended family, and how that might offend if we host these events over two seperate days, but our immediate family seems to think our extended family will be upset at having been left out (we see them ALL, from all over the US, at christmas, but that's about it) if we merely don't invite them to keep the ceremony intimate. I'd rather not invite them than see my new wife embarassed by hyperventilation in front of everyone though!
Thanks so much for your input.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 8, 2007, 7:02 PM
Post #4 of 4
(538 views)
Re: [groomed] can a claustrophobic bride have a later reception?
[In reply to]
If they don't have to travel to the reception the next day, it should be fine. They would be there part of the next day anyway.
But, you could always record the wedding and have the reception any time you wish--playing the recorded wedding throughout the event. Family would most likely forgive a claustrophobic bride. I definitely would. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
can a claustrophobic bride have a later reception?
