My fiance and I are trying to finalize our wedding guestlist, but we're not sure how to fairly split the list between our families. Our absolute limit is 225 invitations total, but the situation is a bit complicated because my fiance's parents are contributing a larger amount than mine. Should we still stick with the traditional 50/50 split for number guests, or should her family get more spots proportional to the amount they're paying?
Based on their latest "wish-lists", both want to invite way too many people (even for a 50/50 split) and we just can't afford it with our budget. How can we figure out a fair limit for each of them so they know how many people to cut? We are so grateful for everyone's generosity, and we don't want any hurt feelings!
Please help! Sam and Mary
OhioWed
Post #2 of 4
(96 views)
Re: dividing the guest list between families
[In reply to]
Good Evening, I think your first step should be to sit down with everyone involved (financially and otherwise) and come up with a plan. Let them know your feelings and your concerns on the guest count. While it is very important to consider the opinion of everyone contributing, you will also need to consider what is going to work out for your wedding day. The worst thing you could do is have people contribute money to be spent on things you didn't even want in the first place. There is a line you can draw with having just immediate family, or you can eliminate inviting guests (so no +1) or you can put a number on how many each family can include, but sit down with everyone to review what they think would be a fair plan. There are other ways to scale back, but since your question involved only concern with the guest count, I hope that helps. Brandi Hamerstone, Owner/Senior Event Planner All Events Planned
Nancy Tucker
PRESIDENT - WEDDINGS BEAUTIFUL
Post #3 of 4
(92 views)
Re: dividing the guest list between families
[In reply to]
I would also suggest that the total count be divided by 4. One fourth for each: Bride, groom, bride's parents and groom's parents. This gives everyone a share of the list. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com and http://www.coordinatorscorner.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #4 of 4
(88 views)
Re: dividing the guest list between families
[In reply to]
Agreed. Plus, since parents are no longer financially responsible for their children's weddings and we really aren't bound by old traditional rules as it applies to parents hosting, the guest list is determined by the couple. Contribution is a gift. It doesn't buy seats. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
dividing the guest list between families
