My fiance's best friend is our best man, and I am concerned that his speech will be offensive. He is an aspiring comedian, and usually uses insulting, dirty, and inappropriate anecdotes and language in his humor. I have no doubt that he sees this speech as an opportunity to do a "routine." I am concerned that if I or my fiance try to explain to him that he needs to keep it g-rated, we will only egg him on to be more offensive. If we ask him not to make a speech, he will probably make one anyway. He is also a heavy drinker, which makes him more difficult to control. My fiance will not consider having a different best man, as this is his lifelong best friend. Any advice?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 15, 2005, 12:52 PM
Post #2 of 4
(9866 views)
Re: [V.S.] preventing offensive best man speech
[In reply to]
Dear Best Man Problem,
This is something only your fiance can do. The only thing he can do is to talk to him honestly reminding him that it is not the Comedy Club, it is a room full of family and friends at your reception. It may also help to keep alcohol away from him until the toast. Perhaps have the toast very early in the reception.
Re: [V.S.] preventing offensive best man speech
[In reply to]
Rebecca is 100% correct, this is something your fiance needs to address with the BM. If they are truly best friends then it shouldn't be hard to convice the BM to keep his speech appropriate (although he may need to be reminded of what exactly "appropriate" means, see:
It might work better, too, if he knows he can include all the "inappropriate" material he wants - in a toast at the Bachelor Party. Then the wedding speech can be PG for the guest's sake.
Another idea is to have the BM and MOH toast at the rehearsal dinner, leaving only father toasts at the reception.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 16, 2005, 1:44 PM)
V.S.
Jun 16, 2005, 11:38 AM
Post #4 of 4
(9816 views)
Re: [toastwriter] preventing offensive best man speech
[In reply to]
Having him do an uneditted toast at the Bachelor Party (and far away from my grandma) is a great idea! Thanks so much. Since he'll have it out of his system, maybe we can have my fiance's sister give the toast at the reception on behalf of the groom's side, instead of the BM, since my sister will be giving the MOH toast. I feel so much better - thank you again!
preventing offensive best man speech
