Got engagement ring from bride to be's mother, now what?
I am going to ask my GF to marry me and was prepared to buy a ring. When I asked her mother for her hand in marriage (her father has passed away) she gave me the ring that she had gotten from her husband (my GF's dad). It is a really nice ring, but not exactly what I would have gotten, but as I understand it, if this ring is to be 'modified' in any way or reset, she should make the decision to do that. I know this isn't exactly the most appropriate situation (Grandmother-first grandson, etc) but is it OK? She was very close to her father and he passed away when she (my GF) was very young. Also, do I give some really cool wedding band or anniversary ring to add my own 'touch' to this? Thanks.
(This post was
edited by Oxfordlane on Mar 31, 2007, 9:36 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Mar 31, 2007, 6:28 PM
Post #2 of 5
(685 views)
Re: [Oxfordlane] Got engagement ring from bride to be's mother, now what?
[In reply to]
Dear Oxfordlane,
It may be best to allow your girlfriend to decide if she wants the ring. She may not. If she does and wants to alter it, it really is her decision to do so, as her mother gave it to you. It is now hers and yours.
The engagement ring is optional, but there really should be a wedding ring. So, this would either be her wedding ring or she would need an additional ring.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Got engagement ring from bride to be's mother, now what?
[In reply to]
Thank you for the advice. I am sure she will want it as soon as she learns of its origin. I found a similar thread from January from codkcor that addresses a similar situation, only his girlfriend knew about the ring. I intend for this to be the engagement ring, but not the wedding ring. I guess I can go 'all out' on that one (the wedding ring), can't I?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Apr 2, 2007, 11:43 AM
Post #4 of 5
(671 views)
Re: [Oxfordlane] Got engagement ring from bride to be's mother, now what?
[In reply to]
The good news is that both of you can choose what is best for you. There are no rules to follow. It is just always best to include her in all of the decisions.
You two are a team now . Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Wedding Rings
Professional Jeweler
Apr 3, 2007, 3:37 AM
Post #5 of 5
(653 views)
Re: [Oxfordlane] Got engagement ring from bride to be's mother, now what?
[In reply to]
Oxfordlane,
I agree. Once your GF learns the origin of the ring, she may just think it's more valuable than any ring you could buy her. But splurging on the wedding ring would be a great solution. And the good news is that typically wedding bands are much less expensive than engagement rings.
If matching the wedding ring to the engagement ring is not a concern, then you may even want to go with something more high-end, like a platinum wedding band, which is fashionable and excellent in terms of longevity. That is if she likes platinum.
That way you feel like you did something very special as well.
Hope you find the right wedding ring! Afshin from Apples of Gold Jewelry Professional Jeweler
Got engagement ring from bride to be's mother, now what?
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