My Fiance recently proposed to me with a 2 karat diamond. The ring is gorgeous, but I would have never picked it out for myself, simply because of it's size. I am not materialistic in any way.
We have been discussing marriage for next year, but I didn't know he had even been working on getting me a ring yet. So, when I asked him how he pulled it off, he said, "It was actually a gift from my Mother". He said they use to belong to a jewelry club in the 90's and it was one piece she had saved.
I think I feel honored that she would do this. My fiance has money, it's not like he couldn't have bought it on his own. I am taking it as a blessing since it was passed down from his Mother.
Of course my first thought was, we need to get this insured! I asked him if it was all right for me to get it appraised and get insurance on it, he said, "what ever you want", but I noticed a hesitation in his voice. I asked again, to make sure, and he said that was fine.
Today I took it into the jewelry store where he had it sized, and asked how long I would have to go with out it to have it appraised. The man, said, "well... I can give you a verbal appraisal, but I don't normally appraise cubic zirconium. The price of the gold is worth around $200.". I said, "I didn't realize it wasn't a real diamond:. He said, "I am sorry, your fiance was aware when he brought it in, he told me before I looked at it".
I am blown away, and baffled. It's not like he couldn't have bought me a diamond. He has never been dishonest with me, actually he has always been brutally honest. I am not sure how I feel about this. Do you have any insight?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 26, 2008, 8:34 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 27, 2008, 10:34 AM
Post #2 of 3
(711 views)
Re: My engagement ring is a cubic zirconium
[In reply to]
Dear Blessdakdh,
The fact that it is a CZ instead of a diamond isn't really the issue, as you didn't know the difference and most people wouldn't. But, the fact that he was dishonest about it is a huge problem. Married couples need to be on the same team, work as a team, and be able to trust each other. So, it may be best to be completely honest with him about your feelings and try to find out why he felt that he had to lie about the ring. There must be a reason.
Re: My engagement ring is a cubic zirconium
[In reply to]
My first hunch is that he just does not realize how you feel about receiving a two karat CZ ring. He may be very intelligent and he may make decent money, but sometimes, we men think that the bigger the better, despite the quality. Then again, that just doesn’t make a lot of sense. Also, maybe he does not realize that you don't appraise or insure CZ rings. Some men are not as knowledgeable in this area as women are.
My insight, I would agree with Rebecca that you need to be very honest with him and just talk. Try not to be accusatory in any way or he may go on the defensive. Plan what you want to ask and what you want to say to him ahead of time and go talk with him. Before and when you approach the subject, try to expect that he had good intentions and it might go better.
Please let us know what happens or feel free to elaborate on some points if we, I, have missed something.
My engagement ring is a cubic zirconium
