My fiancee and I are still both in school, but I am in grad school so I get paid some $, while he is on loans. He picked a very nice 3 diamond engagement ring totaling about 3/4 to 1 carat. Because of the shape of the ring I was hoping to get a ring made (I know a jewler) so it fits flush, straight bands sit cock-eyed next to it. This will however cost a little more even with a break from the jewler. Our money is not yet combined, and for his school funding purposes we will keep it apart till he is done. Is it wrong if I pay for his ring and part of my own?? It does not bother me, but I do not want to make him feel bad. Friends say I should not and I should "upgrade" my ring later. I would rather get a ring now and keep it as it will be the one receiving a blessing in the ceremony.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
May 16, 2005, 12:29 PM
Post #2 of 3
(1256 views)
Re: [fauxpasbride] buying bands together
[In reply to]
Dear Needs a Wedding Ring,
Basically, you need a wedding ring to wear with your beautiful engagement ring. It is perfectly fine for you to pay for this and his ring since you two will be married and will be comingling funds, as you should eventually.
The first thing you should do, in my opinion, is to talk to your fiance about this, not your friends. Find out how he feels about it. He may want to wait and shop with you to find the perfect ring later. You two want to be life-time partners, so it is good to begin now.
Re: [fauxpasbride] buying bands together
[In reply to]
This is a great opportunity to connect with your fiance and to find out what matters most to him, while also expressing your needs and desires. There are effective ways to communicate where both your needs and wishes can be expressed, heard, understood, and honored. Once you connect heart to heart, you'll be amazed at how easy it is to figure out the best solution.
I recommend Marshall Rosenberg's work on NonViolent Communication as an excellent resource as you two figure out ways to communicating your love, caring, and mutual needs.
All the best! Emily Bouchard, MSSW, Life Coach, Speaker, and Trainer
buying bands together
