[rubytuesday]

My fiancee wants his nephew, who is 26 months old right now, to be the ring bearer in our wedding in July 2006. The child will be 30 months old then. (No flower girl to lead him down the aisle.) He is shy and an only child, and I am worried that we are asking too much of a toddler to walk down a long church aisle in front of 200+ guests at 6 pm at night. My fiancee really loves his nephew, as I do, but he doesn't have much understanding of child development. I don't want everything to unravel just as I am poised to walk down the aisle. We went to a wedding last week, and a 4 year old ring bearer was listed in the program, but he backed out and never even made it to the church! Words of wisdom I can share with my fiancee and his side of the family? Comments, please![quote][email]

[Nancy Tucker]

Dear Rubytuesday,

You are correct, this selection for the ring bearer could be an unpleasant experience for the child and for you. Why don't you suggest to your fiance' that he be listed as honorary ring bearer? That way he can be recognized without being put through the actual walk down the aisle in a scary church full of strangers. I've also seen the child carried down the aisle by an adult or pulled to the altar with a wagon. These are just options you may want to ;consider in a compromise.

[Etiquette Now]

I couldn't agree more. Too many times I have watched as a frightened child screams and jumps under the nearest dress. Children can be very unpredictable.