Top Wedding Questions: Parents of groom refuse to pay for rehearsal dinner - Wedding Etiquette - Top Wedding Questions

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Parents of groom refuse to pay for rehearsal dinner

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#1 User is offline   cluuless 

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I looked on the forum but could not find a situation like this. Sorry. If there is one, please tell me how to search. Please help soon! We have less than 2 and 1/2 weeks untill the big day. The MOG and I have our differences on everything. We have frequent spats. The groom's mother told us months ago that she will pay for the rehearsal dinner. His parents live out of state. So, we did not worry about it. Now she has decided that she will not pay for anyone besides the immediate family (which is Groom, Bride, FOG, MOG, his brother the usher, bible bearer is their grandson, his parents who are grooms sister and brother-in-law, and my son from a previous relationship). There still is 11 other members/attendents! Why did they wait till now to tell us? And she wants everyone else to bring a covered dish to the church. Is this her decision since she is paying some? The wedding party is a mixture of mine and his friends and family. We now cannot afford to feed all those people. I think the covered dish thing is not very polite, since we invited them to be in the wedding. What do you think?

#2 User is offline   Etiquette Now 

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Dear Cluuless,

To ask guests to bring food to a party is not polite. Hosts actually host. They provide everything for their guests. She is not hosting a rehearsal dinner if she is not inviting your attendants and their significant others. But, as host, she invites.

It may be better for you and your fiance to host your own. You don't have to provide a sit down dinner. You could have a very simple sandwiches and beverages type of affair. Or, you could skip it altogether. It would be better to skip it rather than have something hosted that is improper.

Best wishes,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

#3 User is offline   cluuless 

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Thank you so much! And for responding so quickly. Your advice has helped me to relax about the situation.

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