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Money tree proper at engagement party

#1 User is offline   ladoo 

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I'm a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding and I am just thrilled. The maid of honor is throwing an engagement party. I received the invitation today and there is a little note in there that says something about in lieu of gifts, they kindly ask you to bring an amount of cash to place on a special money tree for the bride and groom. WHAT?! This is VERY RUDE! Am I out of line at all? My understanding is that you should NEVER ask for any type of gift with an invitation, especially money. It's only ok through word of mouth, right? What would you do? I feel very embarrassed for the bride, but I don't want to say anything...I just feel like it's not my place.

#2 User is offline   Wedding Queen and MOG 

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An engagement party is not a gift giving event. And, even if it were, asking for specific gifts is impolite. This is not the sort of party that is typically hosted by a member of the bridal party but it might be best if someone took this woman aside and gently explain proper handling of the wedding planning. Perhaps a book on the subject is in order?
Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, IncŪ, a wedding planning guide, and Recent Mother of the Groom -

"Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".

#3 User is offline   Etiquette Now 

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I completely agree. And...yikes! This is not good. I'm embarrassed for all of you. Hopefully with your help you can help smooth this over.

Money trees are not polite and simply are not done.
Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

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