[Viste]

I'm praying you could help me... so I can help the bride-to-be, who is having some difficulty what is proper etiquette when inviting people to her couples bridal shower which will take place in her home town OH in Aug (she resides in IL.) I am one of the five Bridesmaids that are here in OH where she will have one of her three separate showers. This couples shower is mainly people she grew up with and their parents. Her Matron of Honor is in Colorado and won't be here for the shower. The Bride's actual wedding will take place in IL. I know this is confusing. She is hesitant to invite all the Couples she grew up with to the shower in Ohio because a lot of them live out-of-town/state. She feels like shes asking for too many presents? She knows they all won't be able to come to the shower but ALL of them are invited to the wedding and most all are coming to the best of her knowledge. ONE BIG PROBLEM. Does she send all of them Couples shower invitations and then the Wedding invitation shortly after? HELP ME PLEASE! I told her if she invites one of the brothers and his wife or sister and her husband of one family she grew up with she should invite them all because they are all invited to the wedding and let them decide how the want to handle gift giving?? Some couples live in OH. But I really need an expert on this one! [crazy] Thanks!

This post has been edited by Viste: 31 May 2004 - 11:05 PM

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Any guests invited to the wedding should be invited to the bridal shower. Since the bride is not throwing the shower there is no need for her to worry about looking as though she's asking for too many gifts. If there are gusts on the list that are going to be invoted to one of the other three showers being planned then that guest can decide if they want to give two gifts, one gift or no gifts.

[Games Hostess]

It is not considered good etiquette to invite guests to more than one shower because it looks like a gift-grab. The only time exceptions should be made is when the guest is important to the bride, like the Matron of Honor, the bridesmaids, or the Mother of the Bride/Groom. And if you do invite someone to multiple showers, you MUST let them know it is only their presence, not their presents that you desire.

That said, if the out-of-town guests in question are invited to a separate shower, do not invite them to this one and stick to a smaller in-town guest list.