[Mom of Groom]

My son is getting married in a month, and none of his siblings (age 5 through 15) are in the wedding party. After asking a wedding consultant, I was told that weddings 'are not that traditional anymore to follow a color code as long as you are not part of the bridal party'. We were told we can wear whatever color pleases, therefore I ordered the dresses for my girls (5 and 11) in white and blue for them to match the rest of the bridal party instead of a color that would be completely off.

Now my son's fiance is completely mad, not because of the matching colors, but because no one is supposed to wear white but her. (Mind you, the dresses are white AND blue.) I was told that this rule applies for adult women, but wasn't informed it also applies to children age 5 and 11. The dresses are ordered and paid for, I don't have additional funds to buy anything else nor do I feel this should be a huge issue since a) she didn't mention any particular color for them to wear or not to wear and me being from another continent I was not even aware of this.

We are both offended, and this seems to end in a big disaster. HELP

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 29 January 2008 - 04:18 PM

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Mom of the Groom,

I think you may have misunderstood the planner. No one should be matching the attendants, except the attendants. So, even though he is angry for them wearing white, the problem is matching the attendants. It just may appear as if his siblings are in the wedding.

Mothers blend with the attendants, and you would blend with the mother of the bride without dressing more formally than her.

Wearing white isn't a problem anymore unless the attire could be mistaken for wedding attire.

Best wishes,