Top Wedding Questions: Groom's parents only invite their friends/family to rehearsal dinner - Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette - Top Wedding Questions

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Groom's parents only invite their friends/family to rehearsal dinner

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#1 User is offline   bntngroom 

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I am the groom and my parents are hosting a rehearsal dinner. In addition to the wedding party, my parents are inviting some of their friends and cousins, but my parents refuse to invite any friends or extended family on my bride's side.
My bride doesn't think this is a big deal. However, I don't think this is appropriate and I am embarrassed by my parents' selfishness.
Do you think I should accept the rehearsal dinner as my parents' dinner and that they determine the invitation list? Or should I risk a fight with my parents and tell them that a nicer way to start a union between 2 families would be to balance the rehearsal dinner somewhat?

#2 User is offline   Etiquette Now 

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Dear Bntngroom,

Your bride is a lucky lady, indeed, to have such a gracious gentleman as her future husband. You are correct that this is inappropriate. It may be best to inform your parents that you were reading about proper wedding etiquette and found that it is inappropriate to invite friends to the rehearsal party. And, if other family members are to be invited, they would be invited from both sides of the families.

Only those actually involved in the rehearsal need be invited. This is, after all, a dinner following the rehearsal. Inviting those not involved takes some of the emphasis off what the party is supposed to be.

This is written in all etiquette books. So, it is easy to substantiate. The books may mention that it is "acceptable" to invite out of town guests. But, the party can get too large and lose the focus. Plus, again, if we invite from one side, it is only fair to invite both.

Another option would be to host your own rehearsal party/dinner and mention to your parents that it may be best if they host their own party for their friends and family afterwards.

Good luck with this!
Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

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