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Bride wants MOG to greet guests at Ranger Station

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#1 User is offline   sfraley25 

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I am the mother of the groom.The bride & her father have chosen a National Forest Park for the wedding & reception. Granted,it is a nice park, and is about an 1 to 1 1/2 hours away from where we all live. But the bride wants me to stand at the Ranger Station & direct the guest in to where the wedding is located so that her father will know how many people are coming in to pay for them. I feel this will leave me with no time to get ready for the wedding. She is now upset with me because she may have to ask someone else to do it. Am I wrong for not wanting to do this & thinking this is not something the mother of the groom should do?

#2 User is offline   Bridal Consultant 

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The mother of the groom has a place of honor in the wedding party and should not be tied down to traffic control on the wedding day. Traffic and guest direction issues are normally handled by 1 or 2 people who are not involved in the wedding party and are not involved with the seating of guests. There are always "stragglers" to a wedding and since you have an important place to be on that day, greeting guests before the ceremony would make you late to get ready not mention you'll miss out on those before-the-wedding special moments with your son.

As far as the bride being upset that you're not wanting to do it, you can tell her that it has nothing to do with not wanting to do something she has asked you to do but that your place is with your son. Then you can partner with her to find someone trustworthy and reliable to be a special guest greeter or guest liason on the wedding day.

Best Wishes!

Darlene Taylor, PBC
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#3 User is offline   Florida Wedding Planner 

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Well said Darlene! I couldn’t agree with you more. The mother of the groom is a distinguished role in the wedding. It’s nice that your future daughter in law wants to give you additional responsibilities within the wedding but this wouldn’t be appropriate. Perhaps you can discuss the possibility of the couple hiring a wedding coordinator instead of asking wedding guests to take on this and other responsibilities that the couple needs assistance with. This way everyone can focus on witnessing this beautiful occasion.
Emmanuela Stanislaus, Precious Occasions, Wedding and Event Planner

#4 User is offline   Wedding Queen and MOG 

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Agreed. I don't think I would have wanted to miss any of the wedding standing outside counting heads! However, it is nice to be asked to be included into the wedding plans, so maybe ask your son to try to explain why that role wouldn't be appropriate for the mothers of the groom or bride, or any member of the bridal party or immediate family. Maybe you can ask a neighborhood teen to come along, paying them per hour like a babysitting job. I'm all for hiring a professional when you can, but I'm not sure even the wedding planner would want to do head count! They have many more important jobs to do on the day of the wedding.
Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc®, a wedding planning guide, and Recent Mother of the Groom -

"Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".

#5 User is offline   Etiquette Now 

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Fantastic advice! Well put.

I also agree from an etiquette stand point that your role as a mother is a very important one. And, one you would want to savor. You should be with the rest of the bridal party before the wedding, not counting cars. I love the idea of car sitting. With the difficulty teens are having finding jobs these days, this would be a perfect little job.
Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

#6 User is offline   Weddings Unlimited 

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This is your wedding too! Mothers of the Groom are as much a guest as the rest of the family. Find someone else to cover this duty. An off duty park ranger may want a little extra income and be willing to do this. Mother of the Groom...enjoy your day!
Joyce C Smith, MBC, President and owner of Weddings Unlimited, Inc. and Ohio State Coordinator for Association of Bridal Consultants

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