[atrower]

I know it is in bad taste for the mother and grooms mother to have the bridal shower. However in our case the maid of honor is having a shower for (younger) friends only. Having one shower would be to many people. No one is stepping up to have the family and mothers friends shower. As one of the mom's we feel it is falling on us since no one else is stepping up. Only the brides family lives local. An aunt has offered to have her name as the host but really is not doing much else at this point other then bringing something. The shower is going to be held at my house (mother of groom) because I have the largest house. I want to put the RSVP down with the mom's phone numbers and email because the aunt is really not involved much. If we put what someone else suggested "given with love" instead of the aunts name is it still in very bad taste to add the mom's phone numbers for RSVP. We are at a loss on what to do. Thanks, A.T.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Moms,

Showers are optional. It isn't something that has to be done. The bride already had one shower with her friends. This really should only be a gathering with those close to the bride, not the mother's friends. Additionally, the aunt is still close family and the main reason we would rather not see family involved is that is seems self serving--as if we are trying to get the most gifts for our family members.

However, if this is something you feel that you must do, it really doesn't matter about the number. Typically, I would suggest being a silent partner. But, this will not work for you and all of the family and friends will know that you two are hosting anyway.

Best wishes,