Bachelorette Parties: Who Pays for Bachelorette Party?
For a bachelorette party (unlike a bridal shower) it is ok to ask all attendants to contribute. It is important to make it crystal clear ahead of time that people are expected to pay. The closer to a budget or range you can have in mind the better to let people plan. Make it clear before the fun begin.
Question: Who pays for the bride’s bachelorette party? We are having dinner and drinks at my apartment (my treat). Right after dinner, I’m having a lady from Brown Bag Party coming over. After she leaves we are heading out to a drag show. I know that asking for guest to pay is rude but how do I ask them to pay for what their own way and ect.? How do I politely put on the invitation that we are having a “selling party”? How can I mention that they are to buy their own way into the club and their own drinks? And is there a way to word it where it can say that if they want, they can contribute to the “Fun Card”? The fun card is a card like you would buy for a birthday but it’s for the bachelorette party and they can put money in it so the bride doesn’t have to spend money at the club.
Donna, Wedding Queen, President: It is very generous of you to host a dinner for the bride. Usually when we host a bachelorette party like this, the guests understand that they pay their own way and they chip in to pay the bride’s way too. There isn’t usually any gifts involved. The fun card is something I have never heard of, however, since all of the guests should be footing the bill for the bride anyway, this shouldn’t be an issue. All of these activities should be known to all of the women beforehand and the costs laid out so that anyone who cannot afford to go, or those who may not care for the type of entertainment planned, can opt out.
Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca: I agree. Guests usually realize that they will be paying their own way for this type of party. But, costs should be spelled out.
Reader Response: Thank you for answering, I do appreciate it. But you didn’t answer my questions. How do I politely put on the invitation that we are having a “selling party”? How can I mention that they are to buy their own way into the club and their own drinks? Is there a way to word it where it can say that if they want, they can contribute to the “Fun Card”?
Donna, Wedding Queen: This is a really informal event and really doesn’t require invitations. Most people know how the bachelorette party works, but by sending “invitations” you may confuse people into thinking you’re inviting them (inviting = paying). I’d recommend not sending invitations. Either make phone calls or send emails letting the women the bride wants to attend (only those invited to the wedding, only those close to the bride and, please, not the moms!)know what sort of bachelorette party you’re planning and what the details of the night will be. Mention costs for every activity so the attendees can decide if they can, or want to, go. This is one party where guests pay their own way.
Regarding that “fun card”, have you considered what you’ll do if there isn’t enough money in that card or if there is too much money? Again, I haven;t heard of this card concept but, to me, it seems more complicated than it needs to be. usually the group goes out and the ladies all split the bill at the end of the night (sans the bride, of course).
Brandi Hamerstone, Owner/Senior Wedding Planner All Events Planned: I will agree with the other post. The question is slightly confusing because there really is no way to answer, without stating the very obvious. If you are inviting guests to an event and sending out an invite, then you are “hosting” the guests to whatever you invite them to. Meaning, you are paying. If you want to do this on your own (outside of an etiquette friendly concept) then just invite them and tell them they are paying AND you are also hoping they will be buying things from you that evening. It seems a bit odd to throw all of this together, but if it is the style/type of event you are used to having, then go for it and enjoy! However, it seems like you have putting together quite a few, totally different style events and calling it a night out, which doesn’t make any sense (to me). Again, if this is something that your group of friends and associates does, then you should just move ahead with your ideas and ignore etiquette altogether.
Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca: Sending an invitation is all right. Just give guests a phone number and/or email address if they have questions. When we “invite”, we pay. That is the number one rule of entertaining and being a good host. The one (only one) exception is the bachelorette party (bachelor as well). The fun card is not a good idea and is actually rude–an absolute no-no. This is not a gift giving event and the bride shouldn’t be receiving money from the guests. Guests take turns or chip in for the bride when the check comes around.
The “selling party” can be viewed very negatively, as guests shouldn’t have to open their wallets just to attend a party in someone’s home. So, you could mention in the invitation that this is included in the night’s activities: a XXX representative, and include that no one is obligated to purchase anything that this is all in fun. List all the activities on the invitation. Guests know that they are responsible for their costs with this type of party. If you feel that they are not very savvy, then you could state that this activity (bar hopping) is not “hosted” or that they will be covering their own tabs.
Asking Bachelorette Party Guests To Pay Their Own Way
I’m planning a bachelorette for my sister and she had mentioned having her friends all go out for a fancy dinner and drinks. I want to send out formal invitations, but I’m not sure how to word them. I want guests to know that every person has to pay their own way. I wish I had enough money to handle it all, but I don’t. Would it be easier to just send out an evite? Any advice on wording?
Bridal Expert Answer: I think (and would hope) that people just know to pay for themselves. I threw a party for my sister and we went to dinner, a show and to a bar afterwards. I didn’t mention anything about the cost and only included details about the plans. At dinner everyone paid for themselves and I paid for my sister.
Bride to Be Answer: I think it’s pretty standard for guests to pay their own way (and for the bridesmaids to split the cost of the bride’s dinner/etc.) at a bachelorette party. That how it has worked at all the bachelorette parties I’ve been to in the last 10 years. If you want to make it clear without being too blunt, maybe request that people bring cash so it’s easier to split the bill.
Expert Answer: I’ve always paid my own way at a bachelorette party so I wouldn’t worry too much as I think that’s more the norm. The last one I attended as a BM & we just spread the word to everyone about bringing some cash as it made splitting the bill for dinner etc easier.
My sister is getting married soon, and her friends are planning the bachelorette party. They have assumed that all of the guests will pay for the cost of the activities planned. I was always under the impression that when you throw a party, you cover the cost. If you can’t afford it, then you shouldn’t do it. Am I being cheap or is there some rule for bachelorette parties that I don’t know about?
In general, it’s tacky indeed to throw a party and demand an entrance fee, and that includes weddings (though that doesn’t seem to stop some couples from expecting guests to pay for the food and drink). But the bachelorette party is the exception to this rule. This is one night when guests should expect to pay their own way and help chip in for the guest of honor. No, it’s not fair that you should have to shell out for cocktails when you also have to spring for a set of espresso cups or designer table linens as a gift and, in your case, for a bridesmaid’s dress. But it’s the way things are done. So don’t bother asking the hostess if you’ll be helping to pay for the rest of the evening. You definitely will.
If you’re the maid of honor or the one organizing the party, it’s best to ask for money well before the actual event as you’re the one expected to make the reservation and any necessary deposits. Add up the prices for all the activities (including hotel, dinner, limo rentals, etc.) and ask each person to pitch in for the bride-to-be. This extra money should be used to cover her food, drinks, and anything extra like a deluxe spa treatment or even taking a mini-shopping spree.
While it’s assumed that all of the bride’s costs will be covered at a traditional bachelorette party, destination bachelorette parties may force you to bend the rules since they ten
d to be a bit pricier. If you and the other bridesmaids can’t afford to completely pay for her trip, consult the bride before committing. You’ll be expected to pay for any planned activities once you reach your destination.
If the bridal party can’t afford to throw an over-the-top bachelorette extravaganza, there are still many budget-friendly options. Whether it’s a slumber party, a spa day, or even going to karaoke at your favorite local bar, it’ll still be an amazing time.
Is There a Fair Way to Split the Costs of a Bachelorette Party?
Most people expect to pay their own way when it comes to bachelorette parties. Ideally you plan ahead and know all the costs but it can be hard to figure the exact amounts beforehand. We’ve heard of some people designating one person as the bank for the entire bachelorette party then splitting everything evenly at the end. Alternatively you could ask friends to bring cash which is sometimes easier to split when working out the bills as you go. I’ve attended my fair share of bachelorette parties, and each one has been handled differently when it comes to cost. There is no right answer so hopefully you can work it out fairly and evenly without letting the bills get in the way of your fun.