I have looked through all the posts in the gift forum and I haven’t found an answer to this basic question, but I’ve seen a lot of repeat questions so I’m sorry if this has been asked and answered already.
I’m the best man in my buddy’s upcoming wedding, and I am unsure as to what proper etiquette would dictate that I give as gifts. Obviously there will be a gift to the bride and groom, but I’ve seen some vague references to the groomsmen getting a gift for the groom. Am I expected to give a separate gift to the groom, or have I misconstrued what I’ve read? Is that just me, or do all the groomsmen give a gift (If so, should I point this out to them, since they’re unlikely to be aware of it? – we’re all really close friends). Or can/do the best man and groomsmen give a gift to the groom as a group? Is this supposed to be something substantial – along the lines of the wedding gift per se – or something token?
Would this be separate from any sort of shower for the couple? If there a shower for them, I didn’t hear about it (they may not have mentioned it, since I live on the opposite coast?).
Thanks for bearing with my questions! First time going through this. Can you tell?
Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca
Dear Best Man,
Thank you for trying to find your answer. That was very considerate of you.
You are expected to give one gift. This can be a gift that all of the groomsmen purchase together or one from each of you. The gift would be a typical wedding gift.
You and all of the other attendants are already spending a considerable amount of money and time on this wedding, so the gift does not have to be expensive.