How Do I Tactfully & Respectfully Ask A Guest To Stop Their Unwelcome or Rude Behavior?

Weddings easily become one of the most memorable moments of our life. And that’s not just because of the exchange of vows and first dances. Some of the best memories actually come from the guests; your family and friends. Whether it’s watching your uncle bust a move on the dance floor or listening to your bestie recount the first time meeting your brand new husband, there are too many opportunities worthy of remembering.

What that also means is that there are opportunities for some bad memories too, including guests who may not be on their best behavior, especially when an open bar and a dance floor are involved. So, it truly is safe to prepare for a variety of scenarios.

If you’re worried about some guests getting out of hand, talk to your wedding venue about possibilities of controlling the situation. Will the venue have security? Or will your wedding planner subtly take the guests aside to deescalate the situation? Speak to those who will be in charge of the flow of the celebration so you don’t have to worry about it if something were to happen during the midst of the experience. Delegating this responsibility is the best way to keep relationships intact and bad behavior corrected – no matter what situation arises.

Here are six possible (and most frequent) shaky scenarios that may happen and our quick advice on how to stop it in its tracks:

Six Possible Shaky, Bad Wedding Behavior Scenarios

The Uninvited Guest

Okay, so we aren’t talking about the random stranger or distant cousin who RSVP’d to your wedding before the big day. We’re talking about the guest you spot across the room whom you’ve never met before and have no idea who they are.

These real-life wedding crashers should and can be dealt with in a tactful way. Keep in mind though that it’s not for you to handle. Instead, notify your venue or wedding planner so the person/people can be removed quietly and in a safe manner.

The Drunk Guest

There seems to always be that one guest who can take it to an entirely new level; a level where you just don’t want to go. These are the guests that may have had one too many at the open bar and their behavior quickly spins out of control while killing the vibe of the celebration.

If you know of some possible guests that may fit this type of behavior, prepare ahead of time. Maybe it’s your cousin, uncle, or the groom’s little bro, whatever the case, make sure you appoint some guests to take control of the situation should it spark an unruly feeling at some point in time. These helpers can assist to escort this guest out and away should they need it.

The Unruly Kids

We know this is a tough one to handle. You don’t want to step on any parents’ toes and you don’t want the little ones to feel embarrassed in any way. But, there may be times that the children get a bit rowdy. Again, this one can be prepped for ahead of time.

Meet with your venue coordinator or planner to decide a plan of action on how to keep the kids occupied and accounted for. Kid tables or corners with coloring books or even mini TVs are some of the trendiest options right now.

The Toast That Won’t End

This is another situation that you can nip in the bud before it ever begins. If you know your Grandpa may run a little long or your long-winded bestie may pass the 5 minute mark with an easy breeze, give time limits before the party even begins.

For those who you know will be making a toast, let them know ahead of time to prepare for three minute slots. And then, the MC can “take the mic” and move the celebration along for you.

The Social Media Guest

Worried that there are guests who will be glued to their phone and promptly posting every inch of your big day? Decide ahead of time whether you want your event posted in real-time. If you don’t, have your planner create a tactful (and stylish) sign that politely asks guests to keep their cell phone cameras down and no posting of the event until the newlyweds get to feature it all first.

The Complaining Guest

Should we call them the Karens of the party? We’ve all seen them, er, well, heard them. It’s the guest that complains about the parking, the drive to get to the venue, the playlist, the drink selection, and even where the bathroom is located. Just remember if you get an echo of these complaints in your ear that, at the end of the day, it really is your day and it was planned for no one else than the two of you newlyweds. This one, we say, take with a grain of salt and keep dancing.

Other Quick Tips On How To Nip Bad Wedding Behavior

Specify Expectations (the bridal party, the dress code, etc.)

One easy way to limit bad or frustrating behavior in and around your wedding is to be very clear with expectations. Whether this is with your bridal party or the dress code of the wedding guests, create very specific parameters of what you’re hoping for.

For example, with the dress code, there are multiple ways to communicate your preferences. First, with the style of your wedding invite; it should reflect the tone of your wedding (from formal or beach casual). There’s also the option to write out desired dress on the enclosure (never on the actual invitation) such as “semi-formal dress” or “cocktail attire.”

Create Boundaries

This really goes well with our previous tip, but it’s so true. Set and create boundaries so everyone from the over-enthused bestie to the overbearing mother-in-law to be knows where the line is drawn. Don’t allow anyone to take away your joy or from your decisions.

Sometimes hard conversations have to be had and that’s okay. Be truthful and honest about what your wants and visions are – but do this before the big day. Allowing bad behavior throughout the planning process only ensures some snafus once the actual event comes to call.

Just Enjoy (and take 5 minutes)

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was to make sure to take 5 minutes to yourself. No matter what happens, take things with a grain of salt and don’t allow naysayers or nay-doers to take any of your joy away. At some point in time, whether it’s next to the dance floor or while you’re standing near the wedding cake about to dive in, allow yourself 5 minutes to take it all in. Give yourself a moment to breathe, observe, and feel everything the moment has to offer.

At the end of the day, the list of possible bad wedding behavior is nearly endless. There are some situations that are easily planned for ahead of time, such as the ones we mentioned above, and other times life happens. You can’t control everything, but you can delegate. This is your big moment to enjoy and all you have to do is a tiny bit of homework beforehand.

Making sure that you have the right people in place to handle some of the possible stressors of the day will ensure that you won’t have to.

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