Including Adult Children In Second Marriage


 

My fiance and I are going to marry in the fall. We have grown or mostly grown children. We are looking for ways to start new wedding traditions by giving heirloom gifts that can be passed from child to child during subsequent wedding ceremonies (children’s not ours as we will not be remarrying again.) Some things we have thought of are small message tubes on necklaces that can hold a personal message to the individual its being given to. I would like other simple ideas on this line.

Wedding Queen

Congratulations on your engagement. I like the idea of the Family Bible. of course, that only works for Christians. Try this page that lists some heirloom gifts for a second marriage. Perhaps one of those can be personalized for the two of you and then, as each family member is married, you can add that couple’s names to the piece.

Wedding Expert

Second wedding ceremonies often involve the combination of two families as much as the marriage of a couple. To that end, children, even adult children, regularly play a role in the ceremony. How to involve children is an individual decision – they might be asked to do a reading, or even be involved in the vows: “Who supports this couple?” (in lieu of “Who gives this woman?”) can be answered with “I/we do” by children, entire families, and even entire congregations, making it a lovely gesture to affirm the creation of the new family.

Bride Next Door

Lovely idea! Just from our own family’s experience, some of the most treasured heirloom gifts have been favorite Christmas ornaments that belonged to our parents or grandparents.

Perhaps you can recall one of your children mentioning an admiration for or a good memory attached to a particular knick-knack, book, or picture.

If you wish to start your heirloom tradition with something new, it may be helpful to check out the previously mentioned website or visit a few stores that specialize in gifts for wedding party participants. This should give you lots of good ideas.

Nancy Bridal Planner

I agree with all of the above and thought it was a lovely idea when a blended family had wedding bands for the children as well. They were teens…you could engrave it and they could pass it on.

Reader Response

Already thought about the rings, but am looking for something to start a new tradition that would be only for marriages and would be something that either men or women would think is something special that they want to hold on to and pass on at their weddings or birth of their first child.

Wedding Queen

That’s why I thought of the Bible. But, even if you’re not religious, a good book can make a nice keepsake too and there will be places to write names, dates and short sentiments. Find a coffee table book of families or couples who have been married a long time for the theme or start your own book with a scrapbook.

Christine Wedding Coordinator

A scrapbook for each child is an excellent idea! One year for Christmas my mom gave each of us a simple photo album with pictures of our family, pets, vacations. We have added to these albums yearly with pictures of our own children and adventures. The albums and pictures are treasured keepsakes that could become heirlooms.