When you’ve made the decision to get down on one knee and ask the love of your life to be yours forever, you’re going to be filled with happy butterflies and nervous energy. It’s a moment that you’ll both look back on for years to come, and it’s going to be one of the biggest milestones of your life so far. With that in mind, make sure you don’t fall into the common pitfalls that aspiring grooms make regularly. These are the four proposal mistakes to avoid at all costs to ensure the day is the best it can be.
Getting Down on One Knee…Without the Ring
You might feel that waiting for your bride to choose her own ring is the best route, but this is usually the biggest faux pas made. By no means should jewelry indicate the level of your love, but if your soon-to-be fiancé has dreamt of this moment all her life, guaranteed those visions have included a shiny ring to place on her finger. Beyond some sparkle and shine, the ring is a tangible notion of your commitment, and the essential cherry on top of a wonderful day—an engagement might simply feel less than complete without it. If you’ve ever talked about marriage in detail, it’s likely she’s dropped some hints about the type of band she wants, and even her preferred diamond. Sometimes, the best thing to do is head to the special women in her life, whether that’s her best friends, sister, or mom. Rings are usually a topic of discussion, especially if marriage has been on her mind; you’ll find her confidantes are valuable assets when you’re deciding between options like a canary yellow or black diamond engagement ring, gold or platinum band, size 6 or size 7.
Still not sure she’ll like what you pick? Even if you use a placeholder family heirloom ring and take her to pick out rings later .Whatever you decide, it’s important to pay attention to the details, and an engagement ring is a pretty large detail to forgo.
Forgoing Asking for Her Family’s Blessing
It’s an antiquated tradition, sure, and plenty of couples get engaged without discussing with their families first, but it’s still a lovely gesture to approach her loved ones and receive their blessing for your marriage. It’s not necessarily a request for permission, but instead a gesture of inclusiveness, and shows respect towards the relationships she holds most dear in her life (beyond yours). You don’t need to ask her father like old tradition says; go to whoever she is closest to. This step will definitely be appreciated, by both your betrothed and her family and friends. If you live in a different town and can’t do it in person, set up a phone call, and send a delivery of fresh cookies or flowers after you talk to add a bit of sweetness to your gesture. This will be your family soon too, so it’s great to put in the effort beforehand.
Asking in Front of an Audience
It seems every day YouTube features another viral video of some spectacular engagement, in which the groom spent months choreographing a flash mob to propose to the woman of his dreams. The truth of the matter is, your soon-to-be fiancé may not be a fan of all that attention and hustle and bustle when it comes down to a question that is so important to you as a couple. Putting her on the spot in front of a huge crowd of people can cause more stress to a moment that should be special, and won’t allow the two of you to bask in the moment and give it the dedicated attention it deserves. You may want to include her family and friends, but you know her best—will she appreciate dozens of eyes watching you get down on one knee? You don’t have to be alone, returning to your first date restaurant is still a viable choice, but make sure you have the time to soak in the excitement of the moment, just the two of you.
Over Rehearsing your Question
You’re bound to be nervous, and it’s to be expected, but don’t let anxiety and jitters get the best of you as you formulate the most important speech of your life. While you definitely shouldn’t rush through the asking without telling her what she means to you, it’s equally as bad to over-rehearse your wedding speech to the point where you sound robotic. Write out what you intend to say, give it a good looking over, but don’t overdo it—this moment should be sentimental and visceral, so get your thoughts together beforehand and then go from the heart.
As you prepare to pop the question, make sure you don’t make these common blunders and form a lovely day that the both of you will remember for a lifetime.