In my small ceremony, I’d like to incorporate a song for my mom. At the reception, Dad will get his special moment with me in our dance, but I’d love to have something special for just Mom also. I’ve picked out a lovely song that speaks how my mom has taught me to handle life (“I hope you dance” by Lee Ann Womack), but I’m not sure how to include it. I’ve considered playing it first thing after everyone is seated and include it in the program as a “thank you, Mom” song. I’d love to hear some feedback on that or some other ideas. Thank you!
Expert Answer: Wedding Queen
Awww, that’s very special. I was actually going to suggest exactly what you’re doing – list it in the program and play it as your mother is seated, right before you come down the aisle.
Expert Answer: Joyce C Smith
What a nice way to honor your Mom. Playing the song as she is escorted during the processional would be a perfect fit. I also, think playing it at the reception would be nice also. Who says you can’t have a mother/daughter dance? Or just the song dedicated to her during the evening.
What a wonderful thing you want to do for your mom! Wanting to give your mom a little bit of your spotlight is sweet, but it might have a down side as I saw in your last post to the Wedding Queen – how will it make the groom’s mom feel? Would your mom feel comfortable with all eyes on her when all eyes should be on you?
I’m a fan of the first suggestions: playing that song while she’s being seated or during the reception as a mother/daughter dance. Those two would be more appropriate. I recently read an article in BRIDES magazine about ways to honor mom and the mother/daughter dance is one of their suggestions! Why not? The reception is usually the place where toasting and honoring is usually done. If you still desire to have something done during the ceremony, I suggest having the song played while she lights your candle on the unity candle and then is seated. (?) Still, singling out one person so much may make others feel awkward. As a mom who will someday be the mother of the bride, I would feel uncomfortable having so much spotlight on my daughter’s wedding day. But I would have a special dance, just the 2 of us, at the reception! You could even make an announcement (or have the DJ announce) before the song and tell guests what you’re doing and why.
Other subtle ways to honor your mom would be to have a special corsage made just for her – maybe with the same flowers that are in your bouquet. Mail her a letter, scheduled to arrive while you’re on your honeymoon, telling her how much she meant to you and how much you appreciate her (she’ll save it for life). Take a special flower out of your bouquet and hand it to her as you walk back down the aisle. Have a piece of lace from her gown (if she has it) sewn into yours.
Your mother is a blessed woman and, I’m sure, already feels “honored” to have a daughter like you.
Expert Answer: Joyce C Smith of Weddings Unlimited
This could be over kill and yes, I think the groom’s mom would feel left out. Remember, it is her day also.
Expert Answer: Donna, Wedding Queen
I never thought of how the groom’s mom might feel, and I was just the groom’s mom a few months ago! Thanks for pointing that out.
I suggested to my daughter-in-law that she honor her mother during the reception by dedicating her bouquet the mom and saying a little something to her and thanking her for her support. She didn’t want to do the bouquet and garter toss and she loved the idea of presenting her mom with the bouquet. As mother of the groom, I didn’t feel slighted or ignored in the least, especially since the mother of the bride did all of the planning.
The video. We have not decided if we will have a TV or a projector yet, but it will play after everyone has entered. Our wedding is in our living room, a very intimate setting and group. The video is just pictures of us from the beginning set to one special song. But it seems clear that it wouldn’t be good to make a video just for mu mom. *sigh*… so many things to consider!
Have you asked yourself what your motivation is behind this video that you want to do? What is it that you want to accomplish with this video? I understand you want to do something special for your mom and we all encourage you to do that! The video you’re planning on making, though, sounds like it would be more appropriate as a GIFT for your mom. You could give it to her on the morning of your wedding day, or the night before, sometime when the two of you are alone and it could be a very special moment where you can watch it together. For a personal touch, you could add a voice over to your video of you speaking to her. There are so many fun things you can do on your computer for making movies (iMovie on a Mac)…or you can go to Animoto.com and make a 30 second video for free if you don’t have any software on your computer.
Reading back on your previous comments – the “video/projector” with pictures of you and your fiance should probably be played at the reception. A great time would be when guests are coming in and during dinner. That would also make a great gift for parents to have after the wedding or have it added to the beginning of your wedding footage.
I say, have the special moment with your mom and watch the video together. It will be a moment cherished for a lifetime.
Expert Answer: Donna, Wedding Queen
Oh, I love that suggestion, Darlene! As a mom of a son who just got married, Iknow I would have treasured something like this. My son wrote me a lovely card and I appreciated that so much – I didn’t need to be hailed in public. 😀 It was something special just between us. Hope this helps you gain some “mom” perspective.