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wedding etiquette

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Q: How Rude Is It To Not Attend A Wedding I RSVPed For?

In two words, very rude. Emergencies such as a violent illness or a death in the family are pretty...

1 min read

Q: What Should A Bride And Groom Never Do At Their Wedding?

In terms of things you should never do at your wedding, the first thing is to not follow tradition if...

1 min read

Q: Does Crashing A Wedding Actually Work?

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Q: Which Side Of The Family Pays For A Gay Wedding?

The idea of the bride’s family paying for the wedding is a bit outdated…and unfortunate for the bride’s parents. This...

1 min read

Q: Why Do Guests Wear White to a Wedding?

Wearing White to a Wedding. Is it not considered to be a faux pas anymore? We’re pretty sure that almost everyone knows not...

1 min read

Do Both Sides of the Family Host Bridal Showers

2 min read

Can We Ask for Money as A Wedding Gift?

Can’t We Just Ask for Cash as Our Wedding Gift? Thinking about putting in invitations No gifts please. There will...

3 min read

Invited to Wedding Ceremony But Not The Reception. WTF???

Invite Wedding Guests to Ceremony but Not Reception Under what circumstances, if any, is it considered to be acceptable to...

The Question: He’s still married, should I start planning the wedding? “I recently became engaged to a man who was previously married. I would like to begin plans for my wedding however he is still legally married and currently obtaining a divorce. Is it appropriate for me to be planning a wedding at this time and even more important is it appropriate to be “engaged” to someone who is not legally available. Please help with my sticky situation. He thinks this is acceptable I’m not so sure and wonder what the rules of etiquette are in this situation. I would rather obey the rules of etiquette and call off the engagement until it is proper rather than continue to plan for a wedding.” Our Answer You’re right to be concerned. It isn’t proper for the two of you to be officially engaged until he is legally divorced. How could you possibly plan a wedding day if you are unsure about when the divorce will be final? If you plan and something happens with his paperwork and his divorce is not final by the date you have planned then you’ll be on the hook for all sorts of deposits. You will not be able to be legally married by a justice of the peace nor by any clergy either so why risk this? If the relationship is solid, time will not be a problem. Get the divorce taken care of and then start planning the future together. The Question: Is it wrong to get engaged before the divorce is final? “I have been going through a rough divorce for over a year now and have met an amazing woman who wants to get engaged. My wife is trying to hold out in settling the divorce as long as she can. Is bad for me to get engaged while still going through this divorce? Importantly, my wife has already moved on with another man.” Our Answer It seems the real question is whether you can go public with the engagement or not. That’s a good question. For a married person, whether you are close to being divorced or not you should not declare yourself engaged. It is poor etiquette and moreso it is just going to raise more questions from family and friends. Settle your divorce and then you are free to go for it. The Question: Is it legal to get engaged before your divorce is final? Our Answer Is it legal to get engaged before your divorce is final? Yes it is. The main reason being that engagements has no legal significance or consequence. In saying that, if you get engaged while still married, it could have an impact on your divorce outcome. If you believe that your husband or wife is going to be upset knowing that you are going to marry someone else and that you are engaged to this person, then it is possible that your divorce will not proceed as quickly, easily, and cheaply as it could have if you did not disclose this information. Things get even more complicated if you have children. We’ve seen spouses raise resistance when it comes to custody and visitation when they hear of an engagement (or even dating). There can also be real financial consequences to getting engaged while still married. For example, have you established joint bank accounts with this person? Have you spent money on this person that was earned before you separated from your spouse? Are you living with your significant other in the same residence in which you and your spouse used to reside? Is your significant other supporting you in any way? If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, there may be a negative financial impact on how much you receive in the division of the community estate as well as the spousal support you may be entitled to receive. Other Expert Opinions On Engagements & Remarriage “Can you talk about tough stuff? Can you disagree and find a route to working it out and still like each other? Are the things that you have come to see about your partner which annoy you tolerable enough and are they heavily outweighed by the things you like in them? In other words, you lessen the likelihood of divorce if you spend enough time being in the relationship that you’ve had time to test what real day-to-day life is like. For most couples, this is likely a minimum of one year. Whether the dating was one year followed by a short engagement — or the dating was shorter but the engagement lasted a year — seems less important than having this significant period of time testing the relationship. As hard as it is to end an engagement, it is much easier and less painful than ending a marriage. Of course there are exceptions, couples who rushed from first sight straight down the aisle, that are happy. But they are few, and most likely, a little older with a history of enough serious relationships to have more personal insight into what they are looking for in their partner.” - eHarmony “Date two years before deciding to marry; then date your future spouse's children before the wedding. Dating two years gives you time to really get to know one another. Too many relationships are formed on the rebound when both people lack godly discernment about their fit with a new person. Give yourself plenty of time to get to know each other thoroughly. Keep in mind—and this is very important—that dating is inconsistent with remarried life. Even if everything feels right, dramatic psychological and emotional shifts often take place for children, parents, and stepparents right after the wedding. What seems like smooth sailing can become a rocky storm in a hurry. Don’t be fooled into thinking you won’t experience difficulties. As one parent said, "Falling in love is not enough when it comes to remarriage; there’s just more required than that." When you do become serious about marriage, date with the intention of deepening the stepparent/stepchild relationships. Young children can attach themselves to a future stepparent rather quickly, so make sure you’re serious before spending lots of time together. Older children will need more time (research suggests that the best time to remarry is before a child’s tenth birthday or after his/her sixteenth; couples who marry between those years collide with the teen's developmental needs).” - Family Life Other Helpful Resources Ultimate Guide To Destination Weddings Destination Weddings: 3 Considerations Destination Wedding Timeline & Checklist

5 min read

Getting Engaged Before the Divorce is Final

4 min read

Heirloom Engagement Ring Etiquette

Engagement Ring Etiquette. How Should I Offer a Ring to Daughter’s Boyfriend? My mother has a diamond that she would...

2 min read

Third Wedding Attire & Etiquette

Remarriage: Third Marriage Attire This is going to be my third wedding and his second. We were both married in...

3 min read

Groom’s Sister-In-Law as a bridesmaid?

12 min read

Thank You Card Etiquette

Wedding Thank You Card Wording & Etiquette Forgetting To Thank A Guest For Gift Question: My husband and I just...

3 min read

Who Pays for the Bridal Shower?

Bridal Shower Etiquette: Who Pays for the Bridal Shower? Hi Everyone, I have a friend that has been in 2 weddings...

4 min read

Necessary To Send Individual Wedding Invitations? Adult Children living With Parents

2 min read

Tipping On Top Of A Service Fee

Our catering package includes an 18% service fee described as this: The Service Fee (not a gratuity) is calculated on...

2 min read

Time Between Mailing Invitations And RSVP Date

How long between mailing invites & RSVP date? Reader Question: What is the proper timing between mailing the invitations and...

1 min read

When To Us, Miss Or Ms. When Addressing Wedding Invitations?

3 min read

Please, Do Not Bring Any Gifts!

Why is it not OK to tell people you don’t want a gift? I have gone through several posts and...

6 min read

Is it rude to not to invite children to our wedding?

Is it rude to have an adult-only wedding and reception? I am planning a 5 pm wedding in May and...

3 min read

How Far Apart Should Siblings Space Out Their Wedding Dates?

8 min read

Eloping Before Wedding

Eloping Before Wedding And Announcing During Wedding Reception Hello I need a bit of advice! My fiance and I are...

3 min read

Rehearsal Party/Dinner Etiquette When Groom’s Parents Are Divorced

My son and his fiance are getting married this summer(August). I (mother of groom) don’t live in the same city...

5 min read

Modern Wedding Address Etiquette

1 min read

Aunt Of The Bride Speech

Aunt Of The Bride Speech (Mother of Bride Passed Away) My sister (mother of the bride) recently passed away. I...

2 min read

Should Aunt Send Gift If Not Attending Bridal Shower?

Send Gift If Not Attending Bridal Shower? I live in one state and my niece lives in another state. She...

6 min read

Groom’s Sister Wasn’t Asked To Be In The Wedding. Sister’s Husband Was

4 min read

What Do Bridesmaids Pay For?

Bridesmaid Costs. What It Costs To Be In A Wedding Bridesmaid Question: I’m going to be a bridesmaid in my...

2 min read

Do You Tip The Wedding Officiant (Minister) ?

We are contracting a pastor (found him on the internet) to be our wedding officiant. We’ve met up with him...

1 min read

Wedding Host Couples Etiquette

6 min read

Children In Your Wedding Party

Including Children In Your Wedding Party Question: Hi! I am getting married and have quite a few children (8) in...

6 min read

Wedding Seating Arrangements

Wedding Seating Questions Answered How Do Groom’s Parents And Mother Of The Bride Get Seated? Reader Question: My daughter is...

7 min read

Bridal Shower Etiquette – The Top 10 Rules of Bridal Shower Etiquette

1 min read

Q: “Help! Am I Obligated to Invite Somebody to My Wedding?”

It is not easy to prepare the wedding invite list. While almost every facet of a wedding needs deft planning...

wedding etiquette

Q: How Rude Is It To Not Attend A Wedding I RSVPed For?

Q: What Should A Bride And Groom Never Do At Their Wedding?

Q: Does Crashing A Wedding Actually Work?

Q: Which Side Of The Family Pays For A Gay Wedding?

Q: Why Do Guests Wear White to a Wedding?

Do Both Sides of the Family Host Bridal Showers

Can We Ask for Money as A Wedding Gift?

Invited to Wedding Ceremony But Not The Reception. WTF???

Getting Engaged Before the Divorce is Final

Heirloom Engagement Ring Etiquette

Third Wedding Attire & Etiquette

Groom’s Sister-In-Law as a bridesmaid?

Thank You Card Etiquette

Who Pays for the Bridal Shower?

Necessary To Send Individual Wedding Invitations? Adult Children living With Parents

Tipping On Top Of A Service Fee

Time Between Mailing Invitations And RSVP Date

When To Us, Miss Or Ms. When Addressing Wedding Invitations?

Please, Do Not Bring Any Gifts!

Is it rude to not to invite children to our wedding?

How Far Apart Should Siblings Space Out Their Wedding Dates?

Eloping Before Wedding

Rehearsal Party/Dinner Etiquette When Groom’s Parents Are Divorced

Modern Wedding Address Etiquette

Aunt Of The Bride Speech

Should Aunt Send Gift If Not Attending Bridal Shower?

Groom’s Sister Wasn’t Asked To Be In The Wedding. Sister’s Husband Was

What Do Bridesmaids Pay For?

Do You Tip The Wedding Officiant (Minister) ?

Wedding Host Couples Etiquette

Children In Your Wedding Party

Wedding Seating Arrangements

Bridal Shower Etiquette – The Top 10 Rules of Bridal Shower Etiquette

Q: “Help! Am I Obligated to Invite Somebody to My Wedding?”

Great Songs Perfect For The Stepfather / Daughter Wedding Dance

How To Keep Rings Together Without Soldering

What To Write On A Wedding Gift Envelope?

How to Refer to Deceased Parents & Step Parents in Wedding Programs