Top Wedding Questions: Tropical dresses for maid and matron of honor for destination wedding in hawaii - Top Wedding Questions

I have both a maid and matron of honor and am doing a destination wedding to Hawaii with a tropical garden ceremony and a reception a six days later back at home. My colors are black, white and lime green.

I picked out the dresses for my ladies with my matron of honor. She is a size 20 and very busty. I thought she would be the more difficult of the two to fit.

As it turns out, she is now pregnant and won't be at the wedding, but will still be sitting at the head table with us at the reception (the plan is to wear our wedding attire at the reception as well). She will have just had the baby by the time of the wedding so her size at that time is anyone's guess.

My younger sister is the maid of honor and hated my first choice of dress that I chose with my matron. So, I went looking for something else. I am slightly picky in that I want a black and white print pattern that will be somewhat tropical but that can be dressed up and not clash with green orchids. I found a second dress that suited my tastes that was a completely different style. My sister hates the second dress as more than the first. When asked what she would choose, she sent me a picture of what can only be described as a jade green cocktail dress with a mid-thigh hemline (which also cost nearly as much as my gown; our parents are buying her dress). She dislikes my tastes and insists I am trying to find the most unflattering dress possible (she does have a cute figure!).

I would like my MOH's to match as different patterns would look odd but my sister isn't likely to go with anything that is also available in a larger size.

I dislike the idea of an all black dress in a tropical garden.

Do you have any suggestions with how to deal with the unwilling sister? Or perhaps, am I out of line with the look I want? Do you have suggestions for a better "look"?

I'm at wits end.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I wish I would be a psychologist to give you advice on how to deal with your sister, who is being difficult. However, I am just a fashion expert and can only advice you on the actual dresses. I think the best way to deal with the situation is to avoid confrontation with your sister and have her wear whatever she wants. As soon as she picks the dress, make sashes or other accessories for your bridesmaids dresses in that same color (or better yet, same fabric if possible). This way, you will "tie" the entire wedding party together! For example, you can make jade green sashes to go over black-and-white patterned dresses, to match your sister's outfit. Try to avoid confrontation and enjoy your wedding!

As your friend will not be able to stand up with you at the ceremony, leaving just your sister, I strongly recommend that you find a way (perhaps involving your parents as mediators) to find a dress that she likes and that you can accept, and let your friend choose somethig to wear to the reception that is complementary. She won't be in your ceremony photos, and she will be going through a time in her life when her body is going to be least under her control (outside of pregnancy). Let her find something flattering that will make her feel confident, and let your sister find something that won't put her into a "snit" on the wedding day, but that you feel is appropriate, and your life should become dramatically easier.

I'm wondering if it's going to come down to me telling her to wear what she wants and not take any photos with her in them.

Any shade of green looks horrible with green orchids...let alone Jade.

The conflict seems to rise from different ideas of what is "acceptable". Would an above-the-knee dress go with the suits the men will be wearing? Does my dress set the tone of the formality or is it the menswear?

I appreciate your helpful advice!!

Your dress, the time of day, and venue sets the formality level. Mid-thigh is fairly short. That would be my problem with it. But, street length dresses can be semi formal if in high quality. She could wear a cocktail type dress that is knee high and would be in the same formality as the suits.

The men would dress in the same formality as you.