[JoAnn]

The wedding, for approximately 200 guests, is an early afternoon outdoor ceremony at a lovely historic mansion/garden the first weekend in October outside Washington, D.C. The colors are green, purple, and white. MOH and flower girl will be wearing shades of green (I'm told it's darker than sage, lighter than forest green.) The groom will be wearing a black tux with a purple vest, the best man (my husband) and the ring bearer will be wearing tuxes with lilac vests. There will be a buffet dinner and dancing.

The bride,who is wearing a long formal ivory gown, asked her mother to wear a dress for once, but she insists on wearing a pantsuit. I'm still trying to find out what color. Since I have three occasions next spring and summer requiring fairly formal attire, I'd like to buy something black and classic-- rather than traditional MOG lacy -- which I could wear again.

I also have a favorite pair of gorgeous silk black/pink/lavender Pucci heels which, since they're extremely comfortable, are perfect for dancing. I know I'm not supposed to upstage the MOG but surely I'm not required to match her by wearing pants? And if I can wear a dress, do I choose the length by what the MOH is wearing? (Which, at this point appears to be a state secret.) A long skirt would match the length of the slacks, but that seems a bit formal for early afternoon.

Both the bride and my son keep telling me to choose whatever I'd like. Yesterday I asked my son yet again to please ask his fiance the color of her mother's pantsuit, but even if it turns out to be black, I could still wear black, as well, right? And if I happen to stumble across a gorgeous pair of black silk slacks, which I could always wear again, wouldn't it look weird for both mothers to be wearing pants?

Thanks for any advice you can give me.

[Bridal Stylist]

I have to agree with your son and husband...where whatever you'd like. If the MOB and MOH attire is so secretive then you have no choice but to make a decision on what to wear on your own. You have obviously asked out of consideration, but it is coming down to the wire and you need to look spectacular too.

My suggestion is to go with black, if that is what you want. Even if the MOB is wearing black I am sure the styles won't be the same, so you will both still look different. If you go with a dress you can wear one to the floor. Yes...it is more formal and I understand that the wedding is in the afternoon, but you are the MOG so you are entitled to be dressier than the other guests. Also the wedding is in Oct. so it won't look funny to be in a floor length dress. As for wearing silk pants...I would suggest to stay away from them. The reason I say that is because the only thing that you know about the attire of the MOB is that she wants to wear pants. At least this way they can see that you are being respectful and not trying to wear something similar to her.

The Pucci shoes sound great...cute and comfy, you can't go wrong!

Good luck,

[Etiquette Now]

I couldn't agree more. Absolutely perfect advice, even in etiquette land.