[cousinbill]

Background:
My wedding is in November, in NYC...We want to keep it small, no greater than 60.

ALL of the guests from my side will be out of towners, at considerable expense.

I have four old friends from Texas. Of these four, I could only invite two - so I chose the two who had invited me to their weddings in the past.

However, as fate, and ill communication would have it, one of the two that was not to be invited went ahead and anticipated an invite, and purchased round trip airfare from Dallas to NYC.
[shocked]

Of the two who were invited, one cannot attend, so, by the numbers, it is a wash. However, it's not that simple when trying to manage a small wedding.

My Bride is very upset, and feels that I should tell this person "too bad", you're not invited. I, naturally disagree. They have already invested $500 in airfare, and it is going to cost them at least another $250/day to stay here, as well as provide a wedding gift. They are not free-loading anything, they just made a bad assumption, and it is very unfortunate.....

How can I resolve this with my Bride to be?

[crazy]

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Neverquit,

What a sweetheart you are to be this kind. With such a kind demeanor I can't imagine you not being able to explain that it would be terribly unkind not to welcome these people. It is unfortunate that they just assumed that they would be invited, but it really isn't hurting anyone. You are still only inviting two friends from Texas.

Just be your kind self and keep talking.

Best wishes,