[MichGroom06]

My Fiance and I are planning and paying for a wedding that includes the things that we think are most important to us. We are both in our thirties and do not make a great deal of money, so the budget is strict. There will be many out of town guests for which I am told that it is customary to invite them to both the rehearsal dinner and a morning after brunch. My future Mother In Law, who is not contrubuting more than the invitations, dress, and flowers (which is fine) did not pay for the brunch or rehearsal wedding at my fiance's sister's wedding, but did invite everyone that was in from out of town.

My question is, do we have to have a brunch and do we have to invite the out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner? I don't want to be rude or have bad manners but we really do not have extra money for this. my family will pay for the rehearsal dinner but they do not have the means to pay for any more than the wedding party with spouses and the immediate family. Also, if my fiance's mother is paying for the invitations, does it give her the right top invite as many people as she wants?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Paying,

Inviting out of town guests is a nice gesture, but not mandatory. Plus, she shouldn't be inviting anyone. Only the host invites. So, your fiance has some foot putting down to do :)

You do not have to have a brunch. This is an optional party.

Best wishes,