[anitarudesill]

I have 3 events I will be attending which I need your advice for dress code. The Bridal Shower, rehearsal dinner, and the wedding. Here is a little background.

I am the Step-Mother of the Groom. The wedding is at 2:00pm with a a reception sit-down dinner to follow. Events such as this are the only time our entire families are under one roof.

Our contribution to the wedding is paying for the rehearsal dinner and several thousand towards the honeymoon. For the wedding my husband will be wearing a tux with matching colors of the wedding party. My daughter, my step-sons half sister (2 years old), is the flower girl and she will obviously be color coordinated with the wedding party. It is my understanding that I will be given a mothers corsage but I have not been asked, nor have I, participated in any planning activities with the exception of getting my daughters flower girl dress. My question is, what is the proper dress code for me for each of these events?


The Bridal shower is the weekend Oct. 2 at 2:00pm at a local mid-scale french cafe. The rehearsal dinner is at a upscale restaurant in early evening. The wedding is at 2:00pm in the afternoon 1 month from now.

We all get along fine and everything but situations like this can sometime make for awkward situations. This is the first child to marry since their divorce several years ago. My husband has 3 sons from his prior marriage. The oldest son -which is getting married - has been out on his own for a long time. Although we share time together he's off doing his own thing and so I'm not as close to him as I am to his younger sons which we spend time together regularly. So another question is, would it be appropriate for my husband to ask in advance if I will be included in the wedding photos so that I will know my place and assist with my daughter and so everyone can feel as comfortable as possible? I hope this is more clear. Thank you.[quote]

This post has been edited by anitarudesill: 30 September 2025 - 09:47 AM

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Step Mother,

Typically step mothers are in the background, so it would be best if your husband asks about your place in this. If you are considered one of the mothers and will be seated specially, you would dress as one of the mothers for the wedding. If not, you would dress as one of the guests.

Most probably you would dress for the bridal shower as you would normally dress for the restaurant.

Cocktail attire would be perfect for the rehearsal dinner, which is the little black dress or its equivalent.

Best wishes,