[jacquelinejoel]

I am having trouble finding the wording to use in a rose ceremony in honor of our mothers. I am only finding the traditional wording for just the bride and groom and I really would like to surprise our mothers with a rose during the ceremony, any help would be greatly appreciated.

[annemjuhlian]

As a Wedding Officiant, I love presenting gifts or roses to mothers during a wedding ceremony. It's especially sweet when it is a surprise. There are so many ways to do this. I suggest working with your Minister/Officiant to create words of gratitude to each mother before presenting the roses - or perhaps consider the book, The Wedding Ceremony Planner by Judith Johnson for unique rose ceremony language. Judith's book is fairly new and wonderful. My best to you!

[Deacon Bob]

I am a wedding officiant too and most of the couples do surprise the mom's with roses. We normally do it right after the unity candle. The bride and groom simply walks over to the mothers and give them the roses. No words are spoken. They exchange private words. Everyone understands the significance. I agree it is great when it is a surprise. It is usually the most touching part. Best wishes and God Bless.

[RevSusanna]

Specifically for honoring mothers, here is a version of the rose ceremony that is featured in my book one that I have personally developed. It is very popular with my couples! Place two roses (your color preference) upon the altar or ceremonial table. Rolled up like scrolls, and attached to the roses with a beautiful ribbon can be personal notes of love and gratitude to each of the mothers. (Sometimes my couples have even written letters to their respective mother-in-laws as well.) In these letters you can tell your mothers how much they mean to you. Tell them how much they have contributed to their lives--- and thank them. The congregation only sees the rose. However, after the ceremony, the mothers will read these notes in private. It is a moving moment to say the least. On occasion, I have had the privilege of witnessing the tears upon these women's faces. It is a document that a mother will cherish always.

You can do this ceremony in two places:

The first and my favorite place is at the very opening of the ceremony while everyone is stilling standing---with these words:

"We open this ceremony with a symbolic gift of beauty and gratitude to the women who gave the bride and groom life---their mothers."

(I then give the roses to the bride and groom who then present them to their mothers with a hug and kiss. Sometimes, as they embrace I have heard a bride or groom whisper in their mother's ear , "I love you, Mom.")

I give them that quiet moment and then say in my officiant's voice:

"Mothers, it is in your honor that I offer this quote from Homer's Hymns:

It is she who nourished you

she, out of her treasures.

Beautiful children

beautiful harvests

are achieved from you,

the giving of life itself.

I have also done this in conjunction with the unity candle (with and without the quote, or with a different quote altogether) just after the mothers light the side candles and before the bride and groom light the center candle.

The roses are always presented as a surprise! It makes the entire experience for the mothers more impactful.

I hope this helps. For more ideas and words for honoring mothers and fathers that I have developed, see my book, under the various sections regarding "honoring and including family".

On a personal note: I think it just wonderful that you want to do this for your mothers! Being a mother myself, I know how very much it will mean to them. This is a tremendous rite of passage for your parents as well.

I wish you many heartfelt blessings upon you and your family on your wedding day!