[whattodo]

We would like to give donations to both the Heart association and the Cancer association in lieu of wedding favors. My fiance's parents both died from Cancer and my parents have both battled heart issues. The problem is that I have a good friend that is a stong animal's right advocate. She finds it insulting that I would give a donation to these associations since they conduct animal testing. Any suggestions on what to do?

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I have had many family members pass from cancer and my dad passed from heart disease so I can understand why you'd want to support these causes. I also have 2 dogs who are like members of my family and I still would support these causes. Perhaps your friend has never suffered such a loss. You should choose the charity you and your fiance feel strongest about and if this friend is insulted -- frankly -- it's her problem. But maybe you could send a small donation to some animal charity like your local shelter or the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and write her a note letting her know. Read more about making a donation to charity in lieu of wedding favors.

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 08 July 2025 - 01:10 PM

[whattodo]

Thank you, I think that is a wonderful idea! [:P]

[The Video Pros]

Your special day should not be clouded with political rallying of issues where no one will ever be the victor. Keep your own counsel, donate where you will, and celebrate the beginning of your new LIFE with your soul mate, by not allowing your friend's opinion to affect your decision or feelings.

Sadly, medical testing is not restricted to animals, and your friend may not be aware of the many tragedies we have faced as a nation. From the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment to the Atom Bomb testing, where dedicated service men and women were kept in close proximity to determine "side affects".

For forty years between 1932 and 1972, the U.S. Public Health Service (PHS) conducted an experiment on 399 black men in the late stages of syphilis. These men, for the most part illiterate sharecroppers from one of the poorest counties in Alabama, were never told what disease they were suffering from or of its seriousness. Informed that they were being treated for “bad blood,” their doctors had no intention of curing them of syphilis at all.

The data for the experiment was to be collected from autopsies of the men, and they were thus deliberately left to degenerate under the ravages of tertiary syphilis—which can include tumors, heart disease, paralysis, blindness, insanity, and death. “As I see it,” one of the doctors involved explained, “we have no further interest in these patients until they die.”

The rest is history..... Remember, it's never been just animals.

Their tragic story and many others, including men and women who served in the armed forces, have and continue to be the subject of medical trials. Now, for the most part, humans voluntarily make themselves available until such testing proves that the medicine is the lesser of two evils and the FDA approves for public use.

We love our animals as children, and animals although they grow older are as children, for they constantly need care and supervision to ensure their safety and well being. If asked, I sincerely doubt that they would volunteer for the testing. Then again, as unconditionally as they love, it's possible if asked in their language and if they understood the need, they might just volunteer because they do care so much for us.

I have a cat in kidney failure and a dog who has congestive heart failure and kidney failure. Through the miracle of medicine, mostly derived from human trials, my 17 year old cat has lived three years with kidney failure and my little 15 year old dog, who has survived breast cancer surgery (5 years cancer free) is on the same medicine as a human for her congestive heart failure and doing well.

Thank God for HUMAN trials! 'nuff said.

[whattodo]

Thank you so much for the information. I must admit, where I was not as knowledgeable in the area as others, I was hesitant to come back with any sort of response. I appreciate all the wonderful advice.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Well said. My own sister was one of the first to have experimental stem cell treatment back in the early 90's. Sadly, she died from her treatment (her cancer was very progressed and her prognosis was poor anyway). Today many patients are receiving improved stem cell treatments and surviving their cancer.

[Etiquette Now]

So sad. I'm so sorry.

As for your donation, whattodo, you could just mention that you have made charitable donations in lieu of wedding favors, not mentioning the names of the charities. If someone asks, you could tell them or just say that you chose a few close to your heart.

Thank you for your generosity. Hopefully through the generosity of you and others like you, more people will live longer healthier lives.