[philsfuturewife]

Hello!

My fiancé and I will be having a Hawaiian-theme wedding. Growing up, we have been to Hawaiian weddings where the minister would wrap the couple’s hands with a lei to symbolize their unity and togetherness. Our minister is not familiar with this Hawaiian tradition, but is willing to incorporate it in our wedding. Does anybody know the exact words/phrases the minister would say, and at what point of the ceremony would he do this? The last time I attended a traditional Hawaiian wedding was at least 20 years ago, and that was too long ago for me to remember the details. Thank you for your help.

This post has been edited by philsfuturewife: 04 December 2025 - 03:00 AM

[RevSusanna]

I quote my book, Joining Hands and Hearts, Interfaith, Intercultural Wedding Celebrations, pages 228-229:

"Just before or after the vows, the celebrant binds the couple's hands with the garland. Celebrant: Leis symbolize love. In honor of Hawaiian tradition, I bind your hands with a lei, signifying your lifelong commitment of love to each other."

(I prefer doing it just before the vows.)

Here are powerful words I often use for handfastings in general-- featured on page 108:

Celebrant: "As you hold the hands of your beloved, listen to what I am about to say. Above you are the stars, below you is the earth, as time does pass, remember: Like the earth should your love be firm, grounded in your humanity. Like a star whould your love be constant, imbued with the light of God (or, imbued with light). Let the powers of the mind and of the intellect guide you in your marriage. Let the strength of your wills bind you together. Let the power of love and desire make you happy, and the strength of your dedication make you in separable."

May it be beautiful!

Blessings!

Susanna

[philsfuturewife]

THANK YOU so much. I will have to check out your book. You have been so helpful. MAHALO!

[RevSusanna]

My pleasure!

Mahalo!

Susanna