Multiple bridal showers?

#1 abbyalana

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Joined: 16-December 05

Posted 16 December 2025 - 06:55 AM

My sister is very adamant that she wants her shower thrown at her new house so everyone can see it (mine is too small for all the guests), and for her comfort make it a more intimate event. She has a new home and nobody has seen it yet. We have a large family and her fiance has a small family (less that 30 people total). She mentioned her future m-i-law helping too. Well, today I got an e-mail for the m-i-law saying she wants to throw a separate shower for my sis. A surprise one (I think because she knows if she mentioned it that my sis would say no thank you). My sister (and I - matron of honor- and the bridesmaids) planned on inviting everyone. What do I do? I will try to get a feel for it but I am sure she is not going to want a separate one...I also know the future f-i-law will back us (the are divorced!) as he doesn't want much to do with her. She has been difficult with all of their wedding choices thus far...I was warned that she would try to take over and make certain decisions. This is my first time dealing with her...What to do?

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 16 December 2025 - 07:13 AM

#2 Guest_expertplanner_*

Group: Guest users

Posted 16 December 2025 - 09:04 AM

Dear Abby:

The planning of a shower is up to the hostess or host, not the Bride. She may be consulted on the date, time, theme and guest list but she does not have anything to do with the planning or hosting of her own shower. Having it at her home in essence is hosting her own shower - poor etiquette. Unless, the bride is visiting the MIL in the bride's hometown and the MIL invites hometown friends over, then the future MIL shouldn't be throwing a shower either. Although having a bridal shower is not an obligation, if done, it is an event that you and/or the bridesmaids get together and plan.

The purpose of a shower is to have an intimate gathering of friends, who extend good wishes to the bride or couple, not for showing off a new home - tacky. If she doesn't see the poor etiquette in having this event at her house, I know it might be a difficult decision but maybe you should reconsider being the organizer.

Cheers!

#3 abbyalana

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Group: Registered users
Posts: 3
Joined: 16-December 05

Posted 16 December 2025 - 10:12 AM

Okay, we can look at having the event elsewhere. It will be interesting with the budget we have but I will find a way to make it work. I don't think she'll throw a big stink about it. We originally planned it to be somewhere else - so we can find something that will work. I have time...

The MIL is not from out of state so I will push back on that issue as I know two things about my sister 1) no big fanfare - simple and intimate and 2) she hates surprises.

Thanks for the response - we don't have a mom around to help with these details so I get to be the go-to girl...