[brides-sister]

My two sons (14 and 12 yr)(never worn anything more formal than a dress shirt) are asked by my sister to be part of the bridal party. If they will participate they will be wearing a short pants suit which my sister will buy. When i told them they refused immediately. But their father said to me later that he will ground them or loose their privilegies or even spank them if they dont want to participate. What shall i do?

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 19 December 2025 - 08:59 AM

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Well, personally I don't think it's wise to force any child to participate in a wedding, or any type of social event where they would be in the spotlight, if they feel uncomfortable. You won't have the results you're lookng for (happy, smiling faces as a part of a beautiful wedding party) and spanking them could cause all sorts of other ramifications that we won't get into on this forum.

However, the point is moot since, short pants are not appropriate for a child of this age and I don't blame them one bit for not wanting to wear a toddler's outfit. These boys would be humiliated! Please ask your sister to dress the boys (young men), in the same outfits as the groomsmen.

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 19 December 2025 - 08:59 AM

[brides-sister]

In our town it's not toddlers clothes it's the most formal a boy can dress in, it's not unusual, they will not be humiliated. Bu still i don't know!

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I don't know where you live but this is NOT typical attire for a teen in any area I know. Please review what Peggy Post and the experts at Bride's magazine have to say about this choice of wedding attire.

Trust me, as a mother and a wedding professional, your boys WILL be humiliated. Please don't do this to them at such a tender age. Ask your sister to get a copy of one of the following books which will outline appropriate attire for young teens and "tweens" in a wedding party.

Bride's Magazine Book of Etiquette

Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition

or have her look at this web page:

Wedding Attire for Children

The bottom line -- if they don't want to be a part of this wedding party (and I can't really say I blame them), don't force them. No one will be happy with the outcome.

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 26 April 2025 - 07:03 PM

[Etiquette Now]

I completely agree. Short pants are definitely a young (very) boy's formal attire. Please follow the Wedding Queen's advice and ask your sister to read about it.