[amberfox11184]

My fiance and I are going to the court house to get married now but renewing our vows later in a church. I am not really sure what flowers I want to do, but my colors are black and pink. Are those bad colors to have in a wedding? I found the cutest bridesmaids dresses and I was going to have my flowers be pink. I still have no clue what kind of flowers to get. Also, I don't have any idea how to go about getting flowers. I have heard that the fake flowers are much cheaper and my mother has a friend who makes them for weddings, so all I would have to get is the materials. But do they look as good as the real thing? What are the price differences between the real thing and fake? I want my bridesmaids to carry a single pink rose, and I want pink roses in my boquet, I think. Please help!!!! [unsure]

[flowersue]

[unimpressed]Oh, you sound so sad. Cut it out! [:)]

As far as silk flowers go - no, they aren't necessarily cheaper. What they are is convenient. Personally I think a wedding is a one prime and beautiful day and deserves fresh flowers. It's their one day to show off too! The single roses for your attendants sound lovley and will be reasonable. Go ahead and treat yourself to a special bouquet..fresh and fragrant.
Your color combination is a beautiful one. Maybe a mix of all shades of pink roses would be nice. Start looking around to see what you like. Venture into a real live flower shop and take a look. In May you can get tulips, peonies, lilac, anemones, freesia and really nice first flush of spring garden flowers from California suppliers. See what the flowers for your bouquet would cost. Ask your moms friend what she thinks and have a little fun.
If cost is a big issue consider that a florist bunch of 25 roses will cost about 75 to 90 dollars retail. The cost at a craft store will probably add up faster than that because of all the other temptations you might find there. You might also look online for a direct shipped flower supplier if you can meet their minimum. They can be a great deal and are usually pretty nice.

Directions for putting a handtied bouquet can be found on line. Save Money and Make Your Own Bouquet! Be sure to get the flowers 3 or so days before the wedding and condition them properly so they will open a bit. Do this with lukewarm water...they will be proud and beautiful, just like you, for the big day.[;)] Be Happy!!!

[amberfox11184]

Thank you so much for your encouragement!!! [:)] Makes me feel alot better. I have another question for you. Do I have to decorate the aisles leading to the altar? Do I decorate very aisle or every other or two? What else needs flowers? Thanks so much for your help.

Amber

[flowersue]

Hi again. Decorating the pews is entirely your decision. If the site is really plain it does dress things up nicely. For long aisles every other row is just fine. If the pews are beautiful as they are let them be. One suggestion to keep in mind is whatever you do, do it on a classy way. Sometimes less is best. It is nice to have a pair of graceful arrangements on the altar as well, but often they are provided by the chapel.

Oh by the way...Congratulations!!!! Enjoy, take care and I wish you both a happily ever after!!!![:)]

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

You should be aware that a vow renewal is not a wedding and it is not considered appropriate to have bridesmaids for this type of ceremony.

Please read more about wedding vow renewals here.

Perhaps you could consider waiting to have your wedding in the church the first time around so that you can partake of all of the "wedding" perks.

[amberfox11184]

Hey, thanks for the info. My fiance and I aren't having the wedding here now, we are just having a marriage commissioner do the civil part. So this will be our first and only wedding. And I'm really trying to play it out as I have always dreamed as opposed to following all the rules that apply. So we are not renewing our vows, this will be our first wedding. I am having tons of family and friends and there greatest concern will be that my fiance, my stepdaughter and I are happy. What kind of prices should we expect for photography in ok? Do you know of any specific sites that help with wedding vows? My fiance and I are going to write our own, but need some help. Thank you so much for your help.

Amber

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Unfortunately, once your married, you're married. You cannot get married again. Any ceremony you'd have after the first would either be a vow renewal or, if it's being held in a church, a blessing of your marriage.

You should be very careful when planning this event since you would not want to appear improper.

If you want to have a wedding with all the trimmings then why not just wait until May and do it all then?

[Etiquette Now]

I completely agree. Once you are married you are married, even though it was a civil ceremony. It is called a ceremony for a reason.

What you are attempting to create is a wedding after you are already married. This is considered improper because a wedding is a gift giving event, while a vow renewal is not. Plus, hey... why are you creating a wedding scenario when you are already married? Guests typically do not view this positively.

So, I completely agree. Why not just wait and get married when you can have the wedding you want.

Best wishes,

[amberfox11184]

The reason we are not having the wedding right away or waiting until May to get married is complicated. My fiance and I are both 21. He is in the Air Force and I was honorably discharged from the Air Force. We met while I was still in. He was in the middle of an ugly divorce. Our friendship grew and we ended up getting together. We have been wanting to get married since last July but were unable to because the custody battle, which we decided to fight at the same time as the divorce. We won the custody battle and the divorce was finalized in Oct of 2005, but we have still not recieved the papers from the divorce. We were supposed to recieve the papers in Oct. so I shipped all of my things and met him here in Alaska Nov 2005. Well, it didn't happen the way they said it would, and we are just now supposed to be recieving the papers next week. I have been here in AK since Nov. 2nd 2005. I cannot go off of the base for any reason, or shop here on the base or go anywhere on the base for that matter, until we are married and I get an ID. I can't work, take my stepdaughter to school, anything. We have to get married now. If I wasn't so restricted, I'd probably wait to get married in May. And if I had the money and he had the time off now, we'd probably have the wedding now. But we don't. So we have a delimma, we have to get married now, but I want the awesome beautiful wedding that I have always dreamed of. I honestly dont know what to do and this is the best i can think of. Also, my sisters and I are very close and if they are not my bridesmaids they are going to be very upset. I have already had a wedding shower, so we are not having any gifts at the reception. If you have some ideas for me, I'd appreciate it.

Amber

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Amber,

I understand your predicament. And, as there are rules on your base, there are rules of propriety. So, if you marry, you would be having a vow renewal later, which means that you will be giving up the big wedding.

Another problem is that you already had a shower. All of those guests should be invited to the wedding. A shower is not for a reception. Plus, gifts are for the wedding not the reception. There are a few problems here.

The only way to make this seem appropriate is to invite all of those who attended your bridal shower to the court house with you. Or, use a building at the base for a small wedding and invite your shower guests. You can include your bridesmaids. This shouldn't be very expensive and you can plan this for when he has the same time he would if you were marrying at the court house.

Then you can have the big party later and even wear your dress.

Other than that, I don't know how you will make this appear appropriate without giving up some elements of a wedding for your vow renewal.

[amberfox11184]

The only problem with that is that I had my shower in Oklahoma and all my shower guests are there. I am now in Alaska with my fiance and there is no way I could invite all of my shower guests to Alaska for a little dinky wedding(which is all we would be able to afford right now) when they are already expecting me to do the civil part here, now, and then have the big part there in May. I can't pay for all of them to come up here for a courthouse civil ceremony and I can't ask them to pay for it themselves. My parents cant even attend this one. We are doing it all alone.

[Etiquette Now]

Well, you know the expected protocol. What you choose to do is your decision; no one else can make it for you. No one will take you to etiquette jail for doing something improper. We can only inform you of what is expected and how it will be viewed.