[sunshinegirl75]

To be honest, I am completely wedding'd out. The costs are outrageous and I'm the only one who seems to have budgetary concerns because I'm the only bridesmaid still single, with one income.

The bride to be is not really into the bachelorette party scene. So, the bridemaids suggested we have the bachelorette party at someone's house: wine and food. Stupid naive me....I offered up my house. After I did that, it develops into something more.....sex toy party (which I'm okay with....borderline), and now they want to get a stripper. Well, I hate to sound old fashioned, but I am......I don't believe in having a stripper, let alone contributing to get one. I don't have the money for this and it wasn't in the budget. Initially, the bride said that she just wanted to go out for a few drinks...kind of a low key evening. She feels uncomfortable around a stripper, so I'm confused as to why the MOH and 2 other bridemaids think this is a good idea (unless now she is okay with it).

I guess I just need to know how to fix the situation I just got myself into. I don't want a stripper in my home and I do not want to contribute to getting one because I can't afford it and because I don't believe in it. What can I say that is tactful and won't upset the others???

Please help! I don't want to seem like I'm being selfish, no fun and cheap.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear No Naked Men,

I can completely empathize with you. I was invited to a shower where a stripper appeared and was so embarrassed I just wanted to run. I never considered myself a prude, actually far from it, but having a stripper so close... Well, it was uncomfortable to say the least.

This is an optional party where all involved must agree on the plans and budget. You have every right to say no, because essentially you are the host. Stick to your guns and don't give in. If they really want all of the extras and naked men, then one of the others can host it. They shouldn't expect you to pay for something like this though.

Best wishes,