[tjwine]

I know this question has been addressed a couple of times, so forgive the duplication. However I have seen differing opinions, so I was hoping for some clarification.

My fiance recently gave me a beautiful anniversary band as an engagement ring. He knows I don't wear jewelry, and I'm not really a "huge stone" fan. Also, I am a cook, so I never wear rings at work.

I guess a few people have mentioned to him that it doesn't "look" like an engagement ring. So while we were at the jewelry store to have the ring re-sized, he asked me to try on some more traditional engagement rings. I did, but frankly found them far too big for my taste. I elected to keep my original ring.

I love the ring, and I would love to wear it as a wedding band as well. Two bands on one finger would look odd, wouldn't it?

So, I guess my real question is how to explain to my fiance why I shouldn't wear my engagement ring on my left hand until after we are married? I gather from prior posts that it would be okay to wear it on my right hand until the wedding ceremony. But of course he wants me to look engaged, which to him means a diamond ring on the left ring finger. I don't know what to do.......

Thanks so much for your help.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Prefers No Stones,

You have done your reading. Some cultures wear the ring on the right hand until the wedding ceremony, so that works. It's nice to borrow traditions that work for us.

It may be difficult to explain, especially since it seems that your fiance wants all of the traditional prewedding elements. It's actually quite sweet. But, to 'look' engaged has nothing to do with the ring. I'm sure you two appear as if you are a couple. That is the important element in this prewedding time period and beyond. Hopefully if you explain it to him in this manner, he will understand.

Best wishes,