[althea]

My fiancee's uncle is getting married early this May. It's a 6:30 PM wedding, with a reception immediately after. As no specific dress was specified on the invitation, and the only chance I had to shop for an outfit was on my spring break (my college is in the middle of nowhere, and the choice of shops is extremely limited), I picked up a simple, black, knee-length cocktail dress that's conservative enough to be acceptable, and that I'll wear again.

Speaking with my fiancee's mother, she informed me that her family would be sporting long gowns, as should I. She also said she honestly had no idea what the actual attire is supposed to be, but they're assuming semiformal to formal.

We'll be wrapping up our third year of college when this wedding rolls around, and with end of year fees, storage costs, and travel expenses, money is going to be tighter than it usually is. The thought of having to go out and buy -another- (this would be the third attempt at pacifying her) dress, especially one that in all likelyhood I'll never wear again, is making me cringe. In addition, my fiancee is going to need a tux or suit, which will likely end up being paid for by -my- parents, if past experience holds.

The groom has told us he just wants us to show up, and as long as we're reasonably dressed he really doesn't care what we have on. However, I don't want to risk getting my future mother-in-law (oh, and did I mention she doesn't know we're engaged?) even more irritated with me than she already seems to be.

So, should I suck it up and get a gown to make my future in-laws happy, even if I really can't afford it, and will never wear it again? And as for my guy, what's something acceptable, accessable, and affordable that he could wear?

Thanks.

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 26 November 2025 - 09:49 AM

[Etiquette Now]

Dear College Student,

Your dress is perfect. More than likely they will be over-dressed. Your fiance could wear a suit. There are nice ones available at thrift shops sometimes.

This would be a good time to create some boundries and understanding, especially if she will be your mother in law in the future. You bought a nice dress. Your fiance should back you up on your choice. Plus, she shouldn't have the power to force you to do anything. Communication is key.

Best wishes,