[heidimahnster]

A friend of mine with whom I have kind of fallen out of touch with in the last year has been dating and is now engaged to a woman who has not been kind to me (she is the main reason we are not as close). She has been very jealous, and has been mean to me since I became engaged. She has said very hurtful things behind my back (saying things like my ring is fake and that her wedding will be MUCH better than mine) and is often rude to me. Because of her, I do not plan on inviting them to my wedding. I don't want anyone at my wedding who I do not consider a friend and who is not happy for me. I feel bad that I am not inviting my friend, but I don't want to risk this woman ruining any aspect of my wedding. She has made me feel bad many, many times and my wedding is one day I should not get my feelings hurt. Should I tell my friend that he and his fiancee will not be invited to the wedding? If so, how do I word this without making him more angry than necessary?

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I would definitely speak to your friend. Be honest about your feelings. Try to use the phrase "I feel", rather than "you made me feel", so your friend doesn't feel threatened. Something like, "When you belittle my ring I feel hurt". It's possible she has no idea how hurtful she's been. However, if she still seems uncaring then do not invite her. Be prepared for this to end your friendship.

[Etiquette Now]

I agree that being honest with your friend is important. And, those key phrases work.

[Jill]

If you have lost touch with your friend I am not sure why you are so concerned. However, you may feel you still need to contact him to explain why he is not invited. Think about this - if you go ahead be prepared for the fall-out. Nobody likes to think their beloved is anything but perfect!