Our children aren't invited to the wedding...

#1 deanne

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A friend is getting married and we have been invited to the wedding. He also invited my husband to his bachelor party. At his bachelor party he told my husband that our (older) children were not invited to the wedding. My husband responded that he was fine with that and understood. The groom at that point laughed and said that children would be at the wedding, just not ours and he walked away. My husband is upset by this and felt it was rude. He is torn between not attending at all or attending and giving a small gift (we were informed that the wedding cost $200 per person and the groom informed my husband that we would probably not be seeing him much anymore as his fiancee did not really care for the wives of his friends - meaning me and the other friend's wives). The wedding is very soon and, up to this point, we had been planning to attend (a save the date card was sent out long ago but the actual invitation has only just arrived). We would have liked to attend and see our family and friends but now we feel awkward.

#2 Nancy Tucker

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I hesitate to say the groom has less than proper tact to be considered a friend. If your husband is not comfortable attending the wedding after the groom's revelations, I would not feel badly at all. If you do attend is he going to use this as another opportunity to prove his ignorance?

I don't know the history of your husband and the groom but judging from the things he's told your husband, he's not going to dedicate himself to his friends if his wife doesn't approve.

#3 Etiquette Now

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The groom's behavior was incredibly impolite. It is completely proper of you to miss this event. Plus, I am one of the growing number of etiquette specialist who feel that an invitation to a wedding does not obligate the guest to ship a gift. So, you could pass this opportunity to drop money down an empty well.

Why would the groom tell your husband how much they are spending per guest if not expecting gifts in that amount? Too funny. Some people actually believe that they are owed the amount they spend on their guests.

This couldn't be farther from the truth.

Best wishes,