[morrisonswidow]

I searched the forums and didn't find an answer to this question; hope no one minds helping me out:

We're planning to get married May 25th of next year--ceremony in a garden and reception in the adjoining historic mansion. We're both fairly young--still in college, as are most of our friends. Our wedding will be fairly informal (my dress has a very small train and we're considering not dressing the groom and groomsmen in tuxes, but merely black suits and all-matching shirts and ties), but I'm afraid that if I note "informal dress" on the invitations then our guests will show up in all manner of casual attire. Though it's important to me for my friends to attend the wedding, I want to be able to indicate to them that items such as khaki pants, informal shirts, sandals, etc. are definitely NOT appropriate. I have seen these very people wear such inappropriate things to other friends' weddings in the past and do not want the same to happen at ours. Short of personally censoring each guest's attire (which I'm aware would be BEYOND inappropriate), how can I indicate that while they needn't rent a tux, dress pants and and a nice shirt and tie (for the gents) and a dressy shirt/skirt ensemble (for the ladies) is expected?

I'm also facing a similar predicament concerning some of my relatives--to them, black jeans, cowboy boots and a worn cotton button-down is "dressy" attire. And again, I would definitely prefer something significantly nicer at my wedding--especially as family, they will be appearing in photos.

Please advise me on invitation wording concerning this matter! I know I should worry about more important things for my big day, but this matter has me dreading inviting these family members and friends altogether.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Informal,

Attire isn't mentioned on invitations unless it is a wedding/reception invitation and the attire is formal or black tie. If you want to inform your guests that they should dress in 'dressy casual', you could do this on an enclosure. You could also define it for them.

Best wishes,

[morrisonswidow]

Thanks for the advice! I really appreciate getting an expert's prompt reply. [;)]