[buddy]

My niece is getting married in July & is planning to have all of her attendants (who are all approximately 30 years old) wear black, halter dresses. Personally, it is not my taste but who am I to say anything. The problem is that she has asked my 6 year old to be a jr. bridesmaid & wear the same dress or one very similar to the other attendants. My husband & I are TOTALLY opposed to our daughter (& only child) wearing a black halter dress. Are we wrong? For some strange reason she does not want a flower girl or ring bearer & is even making her fiance's 3 year old nephew a Jr. groomsmen. I have tried to compromise & have sent the bride 10-15 different pictures of dresses that my husband & I felt comfortable having our daughter wear (i.e. not a halter, & not ALL black.) We have even told her that money is not a factor & that we will spend whatever is necessary to make her happy. I do understand that it is the bride’s decision, but there are limits. Many of the guests that will attend the wedding have never seen our daughter. We want her to look like the beautiful 6-year-old little girl that she is on that day, not like a little girl who's playing dress-up. In order to spare anyone anymore hardship, we have even offer to gracefully "bow out" of participating in the wedding if the bride does not like any of the dresses that we have suggested. But this has now caused problems with my sister who says that it is only a very short time that she would be wearing the dress & that we should just suck it up. Are we out of line? How would you handle this situation?

This post has been edited by TWQadmin: 15 May 2025 - 05:12 AM

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

As a parent, you have every right to have opinions on the way your little girl dresses in public. I agree that a girl of this age should not be dressing as though she were one of the bridesmaids and is too young to participate in this role. A 6 year old girl in a backless gown is not cute.

However, your niece seems to have very strong opinions too. Since it doesn't look as though you are going to get her to make sense here I think your only option is to tell you neice that you are uncomfortable with this role and the attire she has chosen and that you cannot allow her to participate.

It is a shame that so many these days are allowing their children to act and dress in more mature manners than are appropriate for them, forcing them to grow up way too quickly. I applaud your parenting and encourage you to stand by your convictions. Bravo!

[Nancy Tucker]

I agree. The bride is asking you to do something that you are not comfortable with and I would have to say, withdraw.