grooms family unable to attend

#1 leilamarie0606

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I have been planning a wedding by myself. I communicate through email and pics with my mom for her opinion since she lives so far away. I have recently purchased save the date cards and mailed them to our out of town guests (both he and i have immediate family else where). It has come to my attention that his family (mother, sister, grandparents) will not be attending because of money issues. I have given them almost a years notice of the date. We have paid for the whole wedding ourselves now I feel as if I should pay for their travel expenses? I am very fusturated because he will have no family present if they do not attend. What should I do?

#2 Wedding Queen and MOG

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You haven't mentioned how the groom feels. The two of you will have to discuss this and, if he feels as though he needs to have his family present, and the two of you can afford to do so, then certainly he can offer to pay. But, the groom should speak to his family and find out what the issues are and how much help they might need.

#3 leilamarie0606

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you asked how he feels, and well he "says" it's okay but i know him better than that. I can tell it hurts his feelings. His family is in Texas, mine is in New York. We are in Tennessee. (he is in the army) The only time he sees anyone from his family is if he goes there. They are constantly pressuring us to come and visit. Together we live comfortable for our age but I don't think after all the wedding expenses i can truly afford to get them here. I have however offered to help maybe pay half of the airline fair and have them stay in our home to avoid the hotel expense. His family is also upset that we are not having the wedding in Texas. All of this is very discouraging to me. I just don't know what to do.

#4 Etiquette Now

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It sounds as if you are paying for everything. This should be something you two do together.

It also sounds as if there is nothing you can do to make them happy unless you make it very easy for them by moving the wedding to Texas. Please don't feel that you have to pay them to come to your wedding. If they don't want to or cannot afford to do so, especially after all you have offered, then it may be best just to send them a few pictures of your wedding.

Sometimes others can stand in for family who are not emotionally attached. Search for those people who can help make the day feel as if there are family members there for him.