[Momsmith]

My daughter-in-law to-be is being given a wedding shower by her church family. An announcement is made and all are invited, which is common practice. My son is to provide his list of family and friends to be invited to the shower. The wedding is being held at her small church, and invitations to the wedding are limited to 100 guests, (50 for the groom). This will only allow for family and a very few close friends. I know it is not proper to invite friends to the shower unless they are invited to the wedding, and this will exclude a lot of his friends and his church family, who are asking me for a date when the shower will be. How do I tell them, "The shower is Nov 11, but we can't invite you to the shower, because his wedding is very small and will be family only?"

[Etiquette Now]

Dear MOG,

Because only those invited to the wedding may be invited to the shower and because all of us must limit our guest list, it is best to inform those who ask that the guest list is very limited due to space. Most people understand as most of us have to do this.

Best wishes,